inconsistancy rang the horse

'i remember that time you told me you said | love is touching souls'

2012-01-31T10:38:00.000-08:00

Guys.
I love james blake. And I don’t care who knows it.
He’s a stud. His music is incredible.
He’s 4 years younger than me (and everyone knows I love younger men).
He’s the son of james litherland, so music runs in his blood.
He released his first tracks in 2009, when in his final year in school – having recorded them in his bedroom.
Did I mention he’s a stud?
He’s considered dub step. A new brand of melodic, soulful dubstep (my perfect kind).
He has a self-professed love for joni mitchell (soulmate).
He’s 6’5, and sings like he’s trapped under a layer of earth (that’s a good thing).
Ok. fine. I’ll just leave you with some videos. And music.
And THEN. Go to his web page, where you can listen to 3 songs – 2 of which are my FAV (limit to your love, and wilhelm scream).
(also – he is the reason I may end up in berlin earlier than intended. He seems to tour the SHIT out of germany)

Bon iver and james blake

Live version of ‘limit to your love’

then? joni. oh joni. he loves her! so i'll leave you with this. this beautiful cover.

my weekend in summary

2012-01-30T07:11:00.001-08:00

this weekend was a whirlwind... and yet, i somehow managed to fit a TON into it. great!

lip gloss and beer at the lakeview; monotonous packing for my mini road trip; the best find of the whole weekend - NBA all star gummy vitamins. with trading cards!!; one of the many... and a wine that i was surprised by; our ride home - in the snow; my hosts gift to us, to say thank you for coming.

Friday: I wasn't feeling well (oh the life of a person with no immune system), so unfortunately my plans to go to my friend missy's dance show were ruined. I went home from work, and slept for 3 hrs, until 9pm. I then pulled myself together, and met up with denver, for his birthday. We went to holy oak on bloor, for a couple of drinks, and then - since nowhere else was serving food - headed to the lakeview, as I can always count on it to be open late (or, always), and have food all the time. We got food, and beer, and talked all night. Finally walked home, and got to bed late.
Saturday: woke up, laid in bed for awhile reading, and just laying. Knew my friend would be coming around 2:30 to pick me up, so tried to get as much stuff done as possible - a HUGE grocery shop, returning some stuff, dropping of recycling, bottles, and all those things that you can never find the time to do. Made a huge lunch to bring with me, and then set off - when helen showed up - for kingston. If all I managed was the drive, it was awesome. When you find someone you can travel with, it makes travelling the best thing in the world. unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your idea of fun, we got stuck behind salt trucks - twice - and ended up taking almost 4.5 hrs to arrive. Nevertheless, we took our time, and talked the whole way. When we finally arrived, jess was ready for us, with cut up fruit, pitas and dip, and gifts. GIFTS! we talked and talked, went for dinner, talked and talked, went back to jess' place, talked and talked, and drank some wine. I wish I could say something exciting, like we took an adventure, but when you haven't seen people for years, and you have lots of catching up to do, talking is enough. I then found out my family friend was down the street, a block away, so I offered it to the ladies (who were too exhausted), and went out to meet him and his friends. We just sat at the bar and chatted, had some beer, and caught up. It's so nice when after so long (I'm talking 8-10 years long) you can just sit down with someone, and hit the ground running. We got food, and then he walked me back to jess' place for the night. they were still up, so we chatted more, and then went to sleep.
Sunday: after a not long enough sleep, we woke up, and jess made us some tea, and we chatted over tea - some more. I then met my family friends for brunch, and jess and helen ventured out on their own. Met up at a nice classic breakfast place with george and mavis (george was my gr 2 teacher), and caught up. Got the scoop on 2 new babies in the family (one just born, one about a month away), some health updates, and news about their recent trip down to latin america. They are 2 of my favourite people, so I was glad I got to connect with them. After brunch, gave our hugs and said our goodbyes, and met back up with helen and jess. We did our shopping rounds of the bookstore, lululemon, the outdoor store, and david's tea (that's pretty much us in a nutshell), and did more talking then shopping. We finally took off around 4 ish, and planned our long drive home. Fortunately, only took about 3 hrs, though I remember saying, 'I wish it took longer, this drive has been fun!' We had our own version of a mopey sad, university nostalgia feel-sorry-for-ourselves fest, and then a dance party with old songs from university times. Helen then dropped me off, and I spent the rest of the night making lunches for the week, and watching breaking bad - my new addiction.
Obviously, a perfect weekend. I have such good friends. and, with that, i'll leave you with a mashup of our dance party favourites....

dorm room dance party from coordinatedmadness on 8tracks.

Hope everyone else had a great couple days as well!

weekend'o'fun

2012-01-27T05:33:00.000-08:00

guessssss what i'm doing this weekend? celebrating a bday with a friend and THEN taking a road trip with one of the lovliest ladies i know, hma, to visit our friend jcamm in kingston. haven't been to kingston in FOR-EV-ER. so. that will be grand. hopefully having brunch with a family friend, and enjoying large amounts of schenanigans with the girls.

hope everyone has a great weekend - stay safe!
photos from pinterest: friday // girls night // champagne

'in order to be, you must do'

2012-01-26T12:47:00.000-08:00

i'm absolutely enamoured with julian bialowas. he did 365q, is a phenomenal photographer, designer, and plays a part in MANY design projects that i love...
he's currently working on 16 hours - a magazine project about the world we live in, and the many perspectives one can take when looking at it - as well as the upcoming 52 moments... which i can't wait any longer for.
a few of my favourites from julian....

this is canada: 1, 2, 3, 4

Good Morning from Julian Bialowas on Vimeo.

find 16 hours, which he works on, here.

metal, stones, and leather.

2012-01-25T08:24:00.000-08:00

just to share some beautiful jewelry from the vamoose. stunning pieces. GREAT gallery - the way it's organized is stunning.

from top to bottom: vintage brass necklaces; gemstone and metal bracelets in production; Semi Precious Stones and Layered Brass Necklaces; Metal Leather and Gemstone Bracelets love all this stuff.

'i just might be the soft curve in your hardline'

2012-01-24T20:35:00.000-08:00

i first fell in love with Holcombe Waller, when i saw the video for 'bored of memory'. it was stunning.

the aesthetic of this entire video reminded me of falling in love.

then. i saw this. hardliner being promoted as the starbucks pick of the week.

whaaaaaaat??

perfection. it's the perfect song to introduce to holcombe, and off of a FANTASTIC album.

ps. want some free Mp3s for a limited time? check out the track listing from the album here - free mp3 downloads. you're welcome.

my weekend in summary

2012-01-23T06:04:00.000-08:00

My weekend started early this week… with a girls night. Then some boxing, concert, drinks with friends, and mega football.

Tshirt designers, extraordinaire; hand print in the snow on the way home; our friend being interviewed, pre-fight, at the boxing match; new business cards – yay!; getting pumped for football Sundays (only 2 left now!); vintage cameras galore; and exciting – re:claim at birthia!
Thursday: spent the night with Erin, Katie, and Nicole, for a good old fashioned girls night. We did some internet stalking of our various crushes (though, we’re all art nerds, so most of them were photographers and illustrators we love - ahem), had tons of sushi, and talked all night. Made plans for MEGA photo shoots, as well as our own brand of t-shirts and subsequent photoshoots. Love these girls. Love the circumstances in which I was brought together with them, and am so glad it all turned out this way – trimmed the useless fat, and gained some wonderful, wonderful friends in the process! How the world works in mysterious ways sometimes.
Friday: I raced home and changed, and then met some friends to race back downtown for a boxing match at the Adelaide club. A friend of a friend was boxing, and we went to watch. Had some drinks, watched a few of the fights (one of which was the friend of a friend, unfortunately, losing), and then went to the irish embassy for something to eat, and some drinks. Spent tons of the night chatting – including trying to guess the waitress’ age (though no one was happy about me asking her finally) – and sharing sob stories with a friend’s friend about our mutual bronchitis, and then headed home. reminds me how much I LOVE when people drive, while going out.
Saturday: woke up, and spent at least an hour in bed... commiserating my illness. then met a friend for coffee at the bell jar between our houses. Always great conversation, and parted ways after learning we were both attending the same concert that night. I then spent the day running errands and getting stuff done – clothes returned/exchanged, vintage cameras bought, film dropped off, football jersey picked up from last weekend in Mississauga, etc. it was a major productive day, and felt so so good. I then raced home, changed, and headed to Yorkville for a show that my friend - Chris Thornborrow - and the group he has cofounded - toy piano - was putting on with some friends. It was an opera type show, small skits that were hilarious. Met my friend steph there, and we were both majorly impressed. Chatted with some friends, and then headed to the duke for a drink. Then, headed home to be in bed nice and early (perfection).
Sunday: woke up, and spent 2 hours lying in bed. still sick. then, did some cleaning, laundry, all those productive things you’re supposed to do on Sundays. Then, went to my landlords, and spent the day chatting, eating, watching football (patriots win – BEST) and coming up with theories as to the failures of my dating life. love my landlords. Had a GREAT dinner (made by erin), and went back to my place after the 2nd football game, and into bed fairly early. Perfect.
Hope everyone enjoyed the games, and had a great weekend – despite the ‘snow storm’ on Friday!

'nothing - i just helped him cry'

2012-01-21T22:48:00.000-08:00

ok. i rarely rarely rarely write posts on weekends... but this one is a necessary. this has been a weird weekend. one that i wasn't prepared for. and one that has caused much introspection.
so this.... when i found this..... stumbled onto this gem..... it was needed. and i need to share.
'Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry”'
perfection. next time.... just help someone cry.

things i'll be doing this weekend....

2012-01-20T12:15:00.000-08:00

this weekend i'm taking a break. i have no plans (except for tonight), so i'll be spending the two days watching football, drinking lots of tea, catching up on my meds, doing some rehab that i've been slacking on, write, and watch movies. and be in blankets non-stop. try to get past this sickness that's been preventing me from aggressivly starting some meds i need to be on desperately.
so. i'll be:

weekend wear by coordinatedmadness featuring long tops

blanketing. sweatpanting. reading. tea-ing. and getting better-ing.

hope everyone has a FANTASTIC weekend. rest. drink tea. watch movies. enjoy!

dace all day, and all night.

2012-01-19T09:19:00.000-08:00

love. dace.
do i need a reason why?

row 1 (left to right): poppy dress; lotus blazer; mallow sweater

row 2 (left to right): virtue dress; isis scarf; angel top

row 3 (left to right): jessamine sweater; holly dress; kava dress

i know, right?

'you spend your days waiting for time to make you wise | you lie to yourself about anything you want'

2012-01-18T06:52:00.000-08:00

i've been reading a lot of 'thought catalog' lately, and to be honest, submitted a few pieces - not that i expect them to go up, but it's a good starting point. nevertheless, i've been so inspired by many of the writers on the site... some funny, some much smarter than me, some poigniant, and some just plain truthful. a few writers in particular made me laugh, cry (ok... mist), think, and nod. most importantly....
gaby dunn wrote this piece on the bystander effect, and reminded me of things i hadn't thought about in a while... invigorated a love in me for sociology... and showed me it was possible integrate my love for narrative story telling with my love for the fascinating side of humanity.
tessa schoenrock shared a scientific inventory of my purse - and let me tell you: we are the same person. amazing. she made me laugh out loud - and usually only i do that to myself. she made me fall in like, with her writing on things that most people know, but no one wants to say out loud... like being pretty can sometimes suck, which i'm sure garnered more than a few negative comments. but hell - is all so true.
and - the reason for my writing... bart schaneman made me first think about when i was 17. then i read his blog. and combed through entry after entry after entry... his language is outstanding... and pure truth. i can only dream of finding the words to no less than perfectly describe those moments of silent feeling, and recalled anguish.
so many of his pieces - poetry, stories, essays - meant so many things to me. maybe it was because we have experienced similar emotions, thoughts, experiences. maybe it was because he speaks to the still moments in time that few of us ever really reflect on. whatever it is, he does it best. the best i've ever seen. and so much of his writing said things to me.
but this. this, is pure perfection. this is exactly what means something. this is... life.

cherries - by bart schaneman

'I left my jacket on the chair but I can’t go back to her.

We stay in Portland and the rain.

We send messages with the subject line: New York City.

We get caught wishing someone had told us what we were in for.

The women you knew don’t care enough now to save you.

You spend your days waiting for time to make you wise.

You lie to yourself about anything you want.

You tell yourself people improve with age.

Take the risks that are available.

We look at our feet all day.

We concede what’s been done.

We let our troubles keep us scared.

Stay in touch if you can stomach the messages about new relationships.

Be happy for each other if you like pain in your moving on.

Pledge not to write about people and break your promise.

On the same day the unrequited love writes you

with news of the love of your life’s new boyfriend

you get a message from a girl who doesn’t speak English.

There are so many ways to say hey.

A lover that may or may not be sends you one word

in the middle of the night:

cherries.

To tell you what

I did when I was with you

would only widen the wound.

What could you say to make me stay in Korea when New York is waiting.

The nearest we come to traveling

is dreaming ourselves into

places we’ve never been.

They’re not parting shots when you’re already gone.'

i know i have a fickle heart, and a bitterness

2012-01-17T20:04:00.000-08:00

i just can't help but be heartbroken over this song.... it's so... right. when she sings 'i know i have a fickle heart, and a bitterness'.... it hits a bit too close to home for my liking. note to self: get over the fickle heart, and the bitterness. maybe things will start turning out ok. maybe not, but it's worth a try. worth giving people a shot, and not holding them responsible for other people's mistakes. "When will I see you again? | You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said | No final kiss to seal anything | I had no idea of the state we were in | I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness | And a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head | But don't you remember? Don't you remember? | The reason you loved me before | Baby, please remember me once more | When was the last time you thought of me? | Or have you completely erased me from your memory? | I often think about where I would roam | More I do, the less I know | But I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness | And a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head | But don't you remember? Don't you remember? | The reason you loved me before | Baby, please remember me once more | I gave you the space so you could breathe | I kept my distance so you would be free | And hope that you find the missing piece | To bring you back to me | Why don't you remember? Don't you remember? | The reason you loved me before | Baby, please remember me once more | When will I see you again?"

my (sick/injured and filled with football) weekend in summary

2012-01-16T05:48:00.000-08:00

great weekend... though things did not go as i had planned.

brady – ready to go; our grocery shop – really important food groups, and the super looper game; meeting our first university nephew for the first time – the boys; our little nugget; speaking with our long distance love all the way from Norway; our game faces; the blowout; the boys who helped me through university - J3; little sleepy heads; dance party! (ish); our new game - marbleshooting at a bunch of spots for the marbles to land in (the name leaves a bit to be desired, but 'super loopers' wasn't working for us) ; cheers - to us. to longevity in friendship, to costain for coming so far, to cait and matty and their little nugget, and to everyone for doing the holiday party year after year after year, and continuously making it a priority.

Friday: after a LONG day at work, I met a few colleagues for drinks at the rex. Just a few drinks to balance the day of crazy. Then, I headed home, grabbed a few things, and went out to my friend Erin’s place for dinner. We grabbed a few groceries, and then made mini gnocchi with wine sauce and veggies – to. die. for. Had some wine, chatted lots, and ate more. Erin’s friend Nicole joined us a bit later – all of us fully equipped in sweats – and we had a good old fashioned girls night. Filled with dancing (on couches – not at bars – to my ‘hardcore’ playlist… ha!), wine, and chatting. Ended up home late late late, and had a major spill on ice. Figured I was hurt, but went to bed after being helped home by a cab driver.
Saturday: woke up in a TON of pain, and figured something was wrong – went to the drs, and found out I had hairline fractures in my hip and vertebrae. Luckily nothing huge, but since I was also getting sick, it meant taking a few more drugs (pain killers, etc) than I normally would have liked. Then met up with 3 of my lovely man friends to head to our annual university friend holiday party – postponed from December. We finally got to meet my lovely friend’s son and spend some time with them… then, when they took off, we watched football – both the incredibly exciting saints/49ers game and then my pride and joy, the new england/broncos game (and a beautiful win by my pats), ate chili, and then danced the night away to music from our university years. It was a great night… as it always is. Went to bed not as late as I expected we would, which was good, as I felt like my cold was getting worse.
Sunday: woke up to the sounds of breakfast being prepared, and felt awful (cold-wise – not hungover). Ate breakfast with my extended university family, and then after goodbyes, we headed out. Dropped the boys off, and went home and slept. For a long time. Unfortunately, as a result, missed the ravens/texans game. then headed up to my landlords place to watch the remainder of the giants/green bay game (poor aaron Rodgers), and eat tomato soup from a can (best sick guarantee). Chatted for a bit, watched some modern family, and then headed downstairs and to bed.
Unfortunately, the massive amounts of sleep didn’t help, and I spent Monday off work. Sleeping, eating soup, and sleeping more.

I hope everyone had a GREAT weekend – filled with as much football and friends as me, but much less sickness, and injury. and now. to enjoy the playlist that erin and nicole and i did on friday.

hard. as. f*ck. from coordinatedmadness on 8tracks.

to making wrong choices

2012-01-13T14:25:00.000-08:00

happy weekend!

image from my pinterest

sometimes wrong choices lead you to the right places - and one of mine lead me to a new great friend.

this weekend, i'm spending friday building forts and drinking wine with someone who i can now call a great friend - erin. then saturday will be our annual university friend holiday party, with new babies in tow! and photoshoot extravaganza on sunday. filled weekend. with awesomeness.
have a good weekend all!

i love a good scotch.

2012-01-12T08:20:00.000-08:00

why do i love scotch & soda?
if you have to ask, we're not that good of friends.
their clothes are high quality. they're comfortable. they're classic. their clothes are a little bit different (like the collars and drawstrings on their hoodies set a little askew). they are just plain good.
please, observe below. if you're still left wondering, why i - queen of plaid, toast-like clothing, and things that look like they were created in the 1800's - then perhaps we should reconsider our friendship.

check out their website for more women's wear and men's wear.
who wants to shoooooopppppppp?
online. or in person.

'she came from a million miles away | and hoped he would find a reason to stay'

2012-01-11T06:59:00.000-08:00

i just find myself enthralled daily, by alex's photos. i'm lucky to have her as a great friend, but that doesn't cloud my judgement on her talent... she manages to capture the stark reality of life - both in a city, or in a country side - while still portraying the wonderful small details. i love her focus - on things normally unseen. her perspective mirrors my own - off balanced focal points, unusual photo ratios... it's all wonderful. my only complaint is that she should take MORE photos, and have MORE photo shows.

// images from alex: 1 2 3 4
check out more of alex's photography on her flickr, her website, and her 500px portfolio.

'you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness | like resignation to the end, always the end'

2012-01-10T18:46:00.000-08:00

a post has been sweeping across a ton of my contact’s facebooks and twitter feed’s recently – a song called ‘somebody that I used to know’. It’s a phenomenal use of a band, who coordinates around a guitar, and picks out the notes in the song, and sings along to it. It’s BEAUTIFUL.
however.... i need to prop the original artist. i'm in love with a man named gotye. his stunning style, his videos that play like independent art films, his perfect voice, his amazing eyes, and his perfect | perfect | perfect lyrics. i crumble like a leaf when i listen to his lyrics. he once said in an interview: 'the thing i feel best about seeing my song resonating with more people than any of my previous material has, or getting a chance to get in the charts, and be selling higher and things like that, is that it hasn't been any kind of conscious construction to try to fit the current mould of pop music'
he's perfect. these 2 videos are 2 of his more current videos... but they're great introductions to his perfect lyrics, his voice, and the way his style varies so greatly when he creates music.
please. enjoy. i love him.

somebody that i used to know (feat. kimbra)

now and then I think of when we were together | like when you said you felt so happy you could die | told myself that you were right for me | but felt so lonely in your company | but that was love and it's an ache I still remember | you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness | like resignation to the end, always the end | so when we found that we could not make sense | well you said that we would still be friends | but I'll admit that I was glad that it was over | but you didn't have to cut me off | make out like it never happened and that we were nothing | and I don't even need your love | but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough | no you didn't have to stoop so low | have your friends collect your records and then change your number | I guess that I don't need that though | now you're just somebody that I used to know | now you're just somebody that I used to know | now you're just somebody that I used to know | now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over | but had me believing it was always something that I'd done | and I don't wanna live that way | reading into every word you say | you said that you could let it go | and I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know | but you didn't have to cut me off | make out like it never happened and that we were nothing | and I don't even need your love | but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough | and you didn't have to stoop so low | have your friends collect your records and then change your number | I guess that I don't need that though | now you're just somebody that I used to know | somebody | (I used to know) | somebody | (now you're just somebody that I used to know)

heart's a mess

edit: 3 of my hilarious and amazing best friends made their own version.... based on this cover.

'you just gotta fight your way through it'

2012-01-09T10:10:00.000-08:00

from Heather Scott Partington's pinterest

"put yourself on a deadline so that every week you finish one piece. it's only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions"
ok. i'll keep fighting.

my weekend in summary

2012-01-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

had a great weekend filled with sports, friends (new and old), family, family, family and more family. i'm so lucky to have an AMAZING family, who puts up with me, and i remember it every day.

danny, our ticket agent, counting bills (and i quote), 'dolla dolla bills' (yes - he literally said this. we loved him); grey jeans and beer - we were all a little predictable; game in action (love the new floor); apparently friends with no imagination; our game crew - myself, erin's friend, erin, pat, and pat's friend; kareoke at the unknown bar with friends; my first rainbow that i've ever driven directly under - stunning; the snow at the cottage on the lakeshore; gma's bday cake.

Friday: I got a message at work on Friday afternoon from my landlord, asking if I wanted to join them for a raptors game – since I never say no to sports (and i was supposed to go with a friend, but unfortunately plans fell through), we coordinated heading home, having some drinks, and then heading over to the game for the night. When I arrived home from work, I did the scramble to shower, and get dressed (so I looked like a normal human being), and headed to their place for a drink. Erin and her friend and I sat for a bit, and then headed to the game, where we sat up high in the 300’s, drank beer, and had a great time. We eventually were able to meet Pat (my male landlord) and his friend who were already there, and sit with them for the rest of the game. We all headed back to our favourite bar with no name, about a block from our house, and hung out there for a while. Jason and Elliot, who own and manage the bar, are the best. They've provided us with MANY chips, and lots of mouse traps throughout the past few months, and we ALWAYS scrounge an oppourtunity to go hang with them. so much so, that pat, erin and i have committed to a new year's resolution of going at least once every 2 weeks to hang with them. I’m lucky to have amazing landlords, who I can talk about anything and everything with – and who will stick up for me when needed! Once it got late, we headed home, and I got settled into sweatpants, when I got a message from another friend (one of my sister’s best friends), who was at a bar about 2 blocks away. I changed back into clothes (those appropriate for public, anyways), and met up with him, and what turned out to be 3 of my sister’s friends, and a few other people at a kereoke bar just down the street. The bartenders were awesome, and let us stay way past closing time – just to get a good rendition of ‘bohemian rhapsody’ in. I walked home, watched some of ‘the league’ and went to bed.
Saturday: I woke up to my parent’s calling, to let me know they had just dropped my sister off at the airport to go back to school, and they would be at my place shortly to head to my grandma’s for her 80th birthday. They got there as I was scrambling to pack, etc. we drove directly to the cottage to drop some stuff off, and get some time in at the only place I can think of that makes me like snow. i love that place. We then headed to my grandma’s – waited for my aunt’s (two of whom had flown in from Alberta for the birthday celebration to surprise her), and hung out until dinner. Just in time to be late (in true family style), we all headed to the restaurant where my grandparent’s had been going for at least 20 years, for a great family dinner. Turned out I was supposed to do a speech, which I wasn’t aware of until after dinner – so my oldest cousin and I teamed up to say some words about my gma. And when she teared up, I managed to squeak in a joke, to lighten the tearfull mood. My grandma has had a few heart episodes, as well as quintuple bypass surgery, so we are all constantly aware of how lucky we are to have her (especially after losing my grandpa to a heart event some time ago). It was then a giant shift back to my gma’s house, where we all stayed up longer, and just chatted, told stories, and laughed all night (have I mentioned how much I love my family??).
Sunday: woke up to my aunt’s trying to get into their room to prepare to head back home – and then was woken again to say bye. They took off, I slept more, and then got up and hung around the house in my pajamas, with my gma (according to her, ‘it’s a day of rest’). We encouraged her to get dressed eventually when her eldest sister showed up, but she insisted she wasn’t getting changed, until she realized that a few more of her kids were showing up. Little did she know, we were surprising her with all of her remaining siblings, as a lunch surprise for her. We ate a ton of food, laughed a lot, and sat around listening to my gma and her siblings laughing about when they were kids – it reminded me so much of my dad and his siblings, it was so encouraging to see a group of 80+ year old people behaving in that way. Then, at one point, my gma and 2 of her sisters were sitting in a row on her couch, and all I could think was, ‘wow – that’s going to be K, D and I in 60 years’. So cool. At about 3:00, after some clean up, we took off, and my parents dropped me at home. I spent the rest of the night watching tv online, cleaning and organizing my apt, and catching mice – a live one in a bread loaf pan!! Cleaned a ton, lots to take to the shelter, and got into bed before midnight – which is GREAT for me. I even cooked all of my meals for this week… I’m turning over a new leaf!

Hope everyone had a great weekend – filled with as much laughter as mine was!

an ode to a gma

2012-01-06T13:33:00.000-08:00

this weekend, i get to celebrate the 80th birthday of the most fabulous grandma in the world. she's a hilarious woman, who is stubborn, cheerful, hilarious, positive, loving, stylish, and an overall inspiration that i look to every single day of my life for strength to go on. she's had quintuple bypass surgery, she's lost the love of her life and strong armed forward into her own amazing and fulfilling life; she's been through the marriages and seperations of her children, illnesses, medical emergencies and celebrations of those same children; she's watched her grandchildren be born, raised, and then give birth to their own children; she is the most positive person i know, and continues to laugh at her own jokes, play in a band, wear jewelry that matches, and shoot us with hilariously sarcastic remarks.

and dear God - I love that woman more than myself i think.

so this weekend i'm spending it with her. she doesn't know it yet, but she'll find out tomorrow. and i'm surprising her with boxes filled with jewelry i've made her. she'll be surrounded by her 7 amazing and wonderful children (my dad is one of them), grandchildren, and her brothers and sisters that remain. i'm hoping she'll sit down long enough for me to ask her a few questions... i want to know what her secrets are to a fulfilling life - because, in all honesty, if i live a life half as incredible as she has, i'll be over the moon.

happy birthday gma - i love you to pieces.
have a great weekend everyone - and if you're still lucky enough to have a grandmother in your life, call her!
// birthday image from kate spade (via a pair of pears)

music mix - sticks // stones

2012-01-06T06:13:00.000-08:00

been loving 8 tracks lately... so figured i would put together some mixes, and THAT way, i can listen to my OWN music at work. i'll post them here, as i finish them .
first.

//sticks and stones.
enjoy!

"precious pieces. ordinary to exceptional. coexisting. day after day"

2012-01-05T06:01:00.000-08:00

when i first stumbled upon summerland... i was in heaven. i constantly find these stores that are exact replications of stores that i want/long/yearn to own. and summerland is no exception to that.
with sections of their store for apothecary (the simply fact that they use the term 'apothecary' makes me swoon), home, and vintage and new.
yet another item on the list of reasons that i need to make a trip to portland VERY soon - if only to meet megan. and read 'fugitives and refugees' before i go.
a few of my favourites from summerland....

awesome tea towels by makelike

best fuckin' friends necklace. what more could you want?

scamper skirt. so. awesome.

this. belt. makes me want to wear belts.

these 'sweet nothings' necklaces - i'm sorry. they have the options of 'one sick bitch', 'crazy sexy cool', 'sweet tits', 'hot mess' and 'eat a dick'. were these not made specifically for me to give as gifts?

specific shop favs are olo fragrances and their amazing gift packs, and custom scents; winifred jewelry, whom i love; makelike - and their forest collection & cactus collection; twenty-seven names and their drool worthy clothing; fieldguided, and their fab totes and photography (love Anabel's stuff - love love love it. can't wait to meet her in toronto one day) in their store.
enjoy it all.... i do daily.

'they shake their heads, they say i've changed'

2012-01-04T11:46:00.000-08:00

One of my first moments of being completely and utterly enthralled with a girl, was hearing ‘both sides now’ by joni mitchell. Her voice. The song. The haunting lyrics. I don’t remember how old I was (I believe probably 7 or 8), but I do remember thinking, ‘this is what sadness sounds like’ (I was an extremely emotionally intelligent child). It’s followed me through life… and maybe that’s part of the reason I have a cynical ideal of love, life and all things in between.
Nevertheless, joni is an incredible song writer. Incredible. And this song just gets it. Speaks the truth about so many things. She has said… “I was reading Saul Bellow's "Henderson the Rain King" on a plane and early in the book Henderson the Rain King is also up in a plane. He's on his way to Africa and he looks down and sees these clouds. I put down the book, looked out the window and saw clouds too, and I immediately started writing the song.”
To write freely and honestly. To write from the heart, and with integrity of inspiration. That’s what joni does. And that’s why I love her.

And Rachel. Oh Rachel. rachel yamagata does it oh so well.

my (new year) weekend in summary

2012-01-03T12:25:00.000-08:00

this new year's weekend was great. full, and productive.

the 'champagne'; family photo (we're sports fans, obviously); sisters; dance party, big time; sister photo outtakes (we're also uber awkward)

Friday: I left work early on Friday, and did some shopping… getting ‘essentials’ (as I call them) – a new lululemon hoodie (on sale!) and some of the most hideously comfortable jeans I’ve ever owned in my life from lavish and squalor. I’m really digging cheap monday jeans lately, and these are no exception… high wasted, stretchy, and feel like leggings, without the tackyness of jeggings (sorry for those of you who love jeggings). I then went home. and packed for my trip home, and then…. relaxed. Could you imagine? Relaxing. I watched some ‘walking dead’ (which I’m obsessed with – as per my obvious and overstated love for zombies), did some writing, and then went to bed.
Saturday: woke up sort of late, but not too late to ruin the day. Cleaned, packed, etc. and then met Alicia for a jaunt around the mall while I picked some last things up, including a late birthday present. We then made the decision that our days would never be as lovely as they could be, without pad thai. So we got some. And it was glorious. We parted ways, and I finished packing, wrote a birthday card, and met my friend for dinner at enoteca sociale. Amazing. To die for. We managed to get in, without a reservation on new year’s eve (if you can imagine), and ensured that prosecco was included in the meal. After we said our goodbyes, I drove to Mississauga to stop by Nate and Brianne’s *new house to say hi, for their NYE party. Chatted for about an hour, and then drove back to my parent’s house, where my sisters and their friends were hanging out. My NYE then involved dance parties to the sounds of electric circus, rap, and large amounts of Bambino to celebrate the new year. My parents walked over at midnight, and we managed a fairly pulled together family photo. We danced late into the night, and didn’t get into bed until late. But it was perfect.
Sunday: woke up too early (according to the night before), and had a huge breakfast with my family, and our quasi-adoptive family member Jeff (my sister’s friend). We then spent the day watching tv, football, and I wrote while chatting with my dad. We then headed out for a movie (which replaced our normal Christmas play), before I headed back to Toronto. I then headed over to my friend’s place just to hang out, watch a movie, relax. Got home at a decent time, and slept (after pure NYE exhaustion).
Monday: woke up elated that I got an extra day to spend doing nothing. I wrote. I cleaned. I organized. I took apart new antique pieces I got for re:claim. I watched ‘the walking dead’ and listened to music. Did some internet editing, and ate. And. That’s. It. A much needed day.
Hope everyone’s NYE was great – and happy 2012!

'people who predicted you’d be down for the count had to eat those words'

2012-01-02T14:32:00.000-08:00

a perfect way to start the new year... with horoscopes.

just adore these horoscopes from russh magazine - though i can't recall how i came upon them. the photo collections are stunning, and the words themselves are beautifully written... whether you believe it or not.
for me.
Virgo

In recent years, you’ve certainly paid your dues. Just a few years ago, you had faced some of the most severe planetary challenges possible. Saturn entered Virgo and began restricting your movements and testing your mettle. If you said at the time that only a superhuman could survive what you (and Pisces) were being asked to endure, you’re right, but since then, you’ve proven just how tough you can be. You not only survived but also flourished, and people who predicted you’d be down for the count had to eat those words. The good news is Saturn is planning to finally make his departure from your financial earned income (second house) on 4 October. Your earned income should rise soon after, possibly as soon as the new moon 15 October. In the two weeks that follow that new moon, be ready to ask for a raise, or to negotiate salary confidently for a new position. You will likely be very pleased and surprised when you see your income go up at long last! You will still have to be careful about money matters, for Uranus will remain your financial house until March 2019. Keep an eye on money you owe, as well as money you share. Uranus wants you to become more skillful at creating contingency plans should funds from any source dry up suddenly for any reason.
Now let’s look at superb news, the arrival of Jupiter, the planet of good fortune, in friendly earth-sign Taurus, to shine his light in the area of your chart ruling big dreams, international travel and adventure, expansive experiences and learning, which is your ninth house. For any of these matters, you will see some of your best progress at the end of April and in early May. The new moon on 21 April will be stellar, and the luckiest weekend of the year, 12 - 13 May, will bring exciting results. And, more extraordinary news: Mars will spend an unusually long time in Virgo and will allow you to materialise a dream dear to you. In Virgo for nearly eight months, this suggests you'll be starting something new – it might be any number of things, including a romantic relationship!
Generally, you’ll have your best luck in love during the first half of 2012 when Jupiter will be there to support your every move. Later, Venus will move into Virgo from October 3 to 28, making October a standout month for you. Venus will work to increase your magnetism and charm, so all you need to do is be “out there” so that others can meet you.
Jupiter will brilliantly light your tenth career house of honors awards and achievement on 12 June and continue for a total of a year of rewards! Any new position you take on under this phase would NOT be a lateral move, but a big step up the ladder of success to a position of more power and responsibility. You’ll be thrilled with what will occur. By this time Saturn will be out of reach, so you really have a good shot at fixing your finances at long last. Watch carefully for what happens just after the solar eclipse, 20 May. And, the 28 November eclipse.
Now let’s turn to matters of love, which will also bring cause for celebration. The unusually long tour of Mars in Virgo will continue to 3 July. I particularly like the period from 21 April to 13 May, when all conditions will be superb. There is another day, 21 May, when Jupiter will meet with your ruler, Mercury. That’s sure to be a great moment for you, for on that day, all your interests will be served. Later, Venus will move into Virgo from 3 – 28 October, making it a standout month for you.
Dear Virgo, Mars in Virgo, later Venus in Virgo – wow! You have plenty of wonderful aspects to set your spirits soaring. It’s possible too that you may meet an artist, musician or other creative person and fall in love. You may create the kind of relationship that you see up on the silver screen, in the movies. That kind of poetry in real life does exist.
if that's the case, then WELCOME 2012. career moves, big chances, increase in wealth, and a romantic relationship. who. knew.

to a new year for all of us.

2012-01-01T14:16:00.000-08:00

this year, i am making few resolutions.
1. to seriously research a get away in India that will help me with my back pain.
2. to focus 25% of my attention on building my jewelry and online brand.
3. to hold 3 shows in the year 2012.
4. to submit one piece of writing a month, to an online publishing site, like thought catalog.
5. to get my jewelry in at least 1 shop this year.
6. to save 25% of my net income every month, to pay off debt, and save for travel.
7. to write every day. about something. anything.
8. focusing more on me. making decisions for my happiness - and no more doing things, saying yes, making plans for everyone else's happiness. example: i was asked by a coworker to go for drinks the other night, after work... and, though i wanted to, i said no, so that i had time to go grocery shopping, and write. seemingly insignificant, i know. but worth the early bed time, and the money i saved.
9. to craft once a week. and focus on giving only handmade gifts.
10. to stop comparing myself to others. to ignore numbers on everyone else's etsy, blog, etc. and focus on the depth and work i am producing in my own life. and to garner happiness from those individual things.
every year we get a chance - a new chance to start again. my friend just said to me, 'whatever happens, you'll either leave it in 2011, or have a new and exciting start to 2012." and i love that. i love it entirely. and that's how i'm going into it. leaving it all behind in 2011, and starting fresh in 2012. and taking all the good with me.

// image from bre at moxee

what are your resolutions?

2011 in summary - what 2011 meant to me...

2011-12-30T05:45:00.000-08:00

as with last year, i truly believe that reflection on your place in life, and what that brings, is the reason we are given touch points - yearly reminders of where we once were.

"the most beautiful people we have known, are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. these persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. beautiful people do not just happen."

elizabeth kubler ros.

this year has been indescribable. emotional roller coasters, lots of great trips, standing by 2 people who are completely and utterly important to me, while they gave their wedding vows... all of these things contributed to the person i can see in the mirror today. i will encapsulate 2011 as a great year. a lot of things happened. but without those things, what would life be worth?

Valley: in fighting with my sister, i realized that sometimes - as the result of being a person who doesn't share their emotion - people can't tell when i'm hurting, and how badly i'm hurting. when people don't know, they can not possibly be prepared to hold out their hands, in help. so at times, when i was at deep lows, i was left alone. it took a lot to realize that if people don't know - if i don't reach my own hand out for help first - people have no idea how to get me out of the valley. i'm better prepared, sitting in the dip of the valley, to reach out, and ask for help.

Mountain: continued back issues, felt like a continuous uphill battle - always in pain, hitting a plateau, working my butt off to try to feel better, and to no avail. however, that climb made it easier to make my own decisions - to quit the cane, to avoid walking with a limp, no matter how badly it hurt. all of those moments of pain, and frustration, gave me the guts i needed to work against the steep mountain i was grasping at, and kick the shit out of the incline. i know i'm better for it.

Swiftly moving rivers: this year, i actually committed to becoming involved in things that actually mattered to me. and if that meant no spare time, sobeit. the internship, the planning of the art/jewelry show, the commitment to building my jewelry brands re:claim and thackeray's vanity, delving into new projects with people i respect (more on Alex and my project in 2012), and dedicating time to writing things that matter. and i loved every second of it. but trust me - when you have that many things on the go, the days move quicker than you ever thought possible. and again, i loved every second of it.

Calm streams and ponds: this year, i actually took moments to myself. and - better yet - non drug induced moments. i painted in parks; i sat for hours and designed, and created; i read books, and wrote poetry; i dedicated myself to writing things that mattered, even if it got me in trouble.... and those moments in time where i was completely and utterly alone? those moments helped me to be the best version of me possible. and i will commit to spending more of these moments in 2012.

Sunrises: beginnings of friendships, relationships, new babies, new oppourtunities, and new days. many many new days, that provided a new oppourtunity to do something different. to be brave.

Sunsets: the loss of a political leader, and hero; the realization that i'll never travel the way i used to, run the way i used to, or do many things the way i used to; the acknowledgment of the closing of one chapter of my life.

but the beautiful thing about sunsets? they always make way to sunrises.
(last year's post)

// all photos from the 365q project

2011 in summary - my favourite memories of 2011

2011-12-29T06:06:00.000-08:00

last year, right before the new year, i compiled a list of memories that made me smile from the year before... and i like that that did... it reminded me that despite what may have seemed like a dismal year, there were plenty of good things.

this year, i will do the same.

so.... my favourite memory from…

January: despite being at the peak of my pain, i spent a ton of time with friends. i really pushed myself to get out of the house. i also got to spend a lot of time with my family after Christmas, which is unusual. Missy's dance show, babysitting, LOTS of vegan cupcakes, and birthday parties. i got a good reminder of how much i LOVED life as a student.
February: though i was REELing from my car being broken into, i had no time to think about it... as my little niece was born on February 7th (also my sister's birthday). she's been simply one of the most incredible things to enter my life. i'm constantly reminded of the blessings i have... through all of my nieces and nephews - and she was no exception. plus - it was the first time a child was named after me... and for that, i was honoured.

my new little niece GMAA

March: quite simply, in and amongst the back, food poisoning, and some other wonderfully hilarious things, i got to spend time with friends. every chance i get to spend time with my laurier friends, is a lucky one. the weekend that 4 of us did a road trip for a st paddy's adventure (not on st paddy's day) was a wonderful reminder to me.

laurier friends at our impromptu st paddy's celebration

April: again, despite the car accident i was in with 2 of my cousin's over Easter, April marked the 1 year anniversary of the closing of la perlerie - the bead store i worked in. the store - though seemingly insignificant as a part-time job - was life changing, as it solidified my love for jewelry and creations, as well as introduced me to some of my best friends in the world.

plus! i got my new computer, AND celebrated the 30th birthday of a great friend slash big brother... who i am also VERY lucky to have (and was exceptionally lucky to have in high school as a guardian).

mike's 30th birthday

May: and again, disaster. i found out i owed a ridiculous amount of money in income tax, because the company i work for had not been charging me enough for the past 2 years. however, the highlight? mini olympics with laurier friends... and finding out that the first of my friends (my very first roommate from university and my good friend matty) were going to have a baby!

mini olympics in May

June: i not only got to spend an entire weekend with my little niece, but also got to spend another weekend at our annual family picnic... which i am so lucky to be able to have. so many families have so many issues and - though we have MANY of our own - our family is one who sticks together, and loves spending as much time together as possible.

family picnic

AND i got to go on my first trip since i hurt my back - to visit my mom's side of the family in sault ste marie. indescribable.

sister, cousin and i in sault ste marie

i got my first taste of what it was like to be a writer... with negative backlash to something i wrote. the most interesting part was that the entry solicited not only angry backlash, but the most positive response i have ever received from friends and readers throughout cyberspace. it was empowering, to say the least.

July: it was almost like all the bad culminated in july to produce one of the best months ever. i not only got to spend a week 'camping in luxury' with some of my best friends in the world, but i also got to visit friends and my sister in vancouver, as well as a quick jaunt to vancouver. in between then, since i was in mega planning mode for my lovely friend Mary's wedding, we did a little bachelorette, AND shower. how could i pick just one thing??

August: easy. Mary got married. no question the best moment of my summer. though it was a whirlwind 3 days, involving a bit of drama on wedding day, and not a lot of sleep overall, the whole weekend was amazing, beautiful and so worth every second of every day. i only wish it could have been longer, so i could have spent longer with the amazing people i got to meet, and, of course, 2 of my favourite people in the world - mary and reuben. then, to top the month off with a million jays games? perfection.

the wedding party

i will also say - though this isn't my favourite memory - that august also brought sadness, as my hero, jack layton, passed away from cancer. i could go on and on about what this meant to me, but i did so immediately, right then and there. my reflections here.

September: i got to spend an EARLY 30th birthday with my dear friend cole, AND i had another addition to my barage of nieces and nephews - the 4th of the clan was born... and i was yet again, elated.

cole's birthday speech

new niece - GSLP

October: spent this month, and the next exploring what it meant to be me. made some MAJOR life decisions.... and, to be honest, spent this month just enjoying happiness for the first time in a long time. i also got to spend thanksgiving with my mom's family, for the first time in a LONG time, with my friend denver. the weather was perfect, and man... my family is amazing.

thanksgiving campfires

November: annual movember, and another baby born. tons of time with nieces and nephews... and lots of love to share. i am a lucky woman.

December: december is obviously filled with amazing Christmas visits, food (lots of food), etc. but i also got to see bon iver for the first time, in what could easily be described as one of the best concert experiences of my entire life. it was perfection. like a snapshot in time that i'll hold true, after the rest has been left to embers. our little nugget was also born - our university friend's son... the first baby in that group of friends, which was surely cause for celebration.

i also coordinated my first art/jewelry show... which was daunting, time consuming, and in bad timing.... but it went off as expected, and with some success. a good moment of encouragement for more shows to come.

alex and cat at 'a curious gathering'

it was a year. a good year. a year of cottage visits, mexican madness, another birthday, time with nieces and nephews, some pain - physical, emotional, and heart related - but above all, it was a year for life changing moments with friends and family. and 2012 will be no different.

what are your favourite memories of 2011?

(last year's list)

2011 in summary - (quote)

2011-12-28T16:44:00.000-08:00

last year was a big one... and to summarize, i looked at all of the small things that meant big things along the way. this year is no different. there were a lot of big moments.

a few of those big moments were...

best moment of joy: moments with friends - too many to count - family, babies, and small moments where i was truly happy. though sometimes these moments are taken away, we still have the memories... i play these moments like films in my mind.

hardest moment of pain: my car accident in april, over easter. and the continued uphill battle with my back, as well as the onset of more continued health issues (that had previously given me a break, while my back was healing).

favourite memory of laughter: i spent Mary's entire wedding doubled over (and not in pain!). her and reuben - and all of their friends - make me laugh harder than ever before. i also have memories of laughter with my roommate, new friends (of friends), and with my church friends who i haven't seen forever, and saw for the first time, together, again a few weekends ago. we laughed until we couldn't breathe. now THAT is a good life.

largest lesson learned: the pain won't go away... but the attitude is a changeable factor. my back pain has definitely improved, but one of the largest lessons for me this year - that took quite some time to learn - was that it won't go away. instead, i have to learn to live with the constant shooting pains, and learnt o manage my mood so as to not alienate others.

largest lesson taught: my sister and i had a falling out this year - she had a tough time understanding things with my back, as she was away in Vancouver, and i couldn't understand her lack of empathy. after a long phone conversation many months after it started, we came to an understanding - and i think she became a lot more aware of what it was that was going on in my head. i simply said to her, "i just wanted you to ask, 'how are you' and that would have been enough". that was a big one for both of us.

hardest goodbye: jack layton passed away this year... and though it seems like an insignificant goodbye, it was a huge loss to the political world... as well as Canada, and Toronto on the whole. he was an amazing citizen, who shared my vision that it is our responsibility as part of humanity to do good for others. i reflected on his death here.

favourite hello: when my little sister moved back from BC - after spending almost a year there, during one of the hardest times of my life. also, meeting my 3 new nieces - G, G, and M.

most important movie to me this year: like crazy - for all the things it meant to me, and left me with. though, watching one week (though it didn't come out this year) provided me insight to a few things as well... and some plans for the future.

favourite song of the year: this is a tough one. it always is. i think it would have to be 'no one's going to love you' by band of horses. for many reason's. but mostly because it's complete and utter heartbreaking perfection. with both the good and the bad of love. and we all know that too well...
what memories are you leaving this year with?
(last year's post)

my (Christmas) weekend in summary

2011-12-28T13:45:00.000-08:00

it was a long weekend, and a good one.

My landlords are amaze; blundstone central; scoping out goodies for gma’s stocking… middle sister k; my sisters and I Christmas morning; middle sister k and gma opening stockings; breakfast tradition – eggs benedict; stocking contents; one of the Christmas dinner tables (the fun table – the kids table); gma cooks on boxing day

friday: after a half day at work, i went home, showered/packed, and then met with my cousin and her bf nick. we ventured to the beer store, and then to nick's friend's place, where we spent most of the afternoon chatting (about pretty serious issues - reserves in canada, discrimination, etc), and then headed out for some dinner. a night of great conversation, good food, and good beer. walked back to mark's place, and we all fell asleep quickly.

saturday: mandi, nick and i woke up early to head out to peterborough - left at about 9:30. we managed to make it to the market, where i picked up some eggs and cheese (LOVE the market). met up with my sister D, and dad, and then headed straight to grandmas. after a short visit, we went out to meet up with K, my middle sister, to buy stuff for our parent's and gma's stocking. had a bit of fun sorting through things that we could stuff into a sock... before realizing we forgot the traditional baseball socks at home - so we added 3 giant stockings to the baskets as well. we then spend the rest of the night eating, talking, watching movies, and getting excited for the next day.

sunday: woke up to our gma singing 'i want to see what santa brought you!' (she's hard to be mad at...), so we all stumbled down the stairs to open presents. i love our ages now... as i find i'm more excited to see if other people like what i got them, then interested in seeing what i was given. Christmas was never made a huge thing for us, so i love the excitement our family gets out of seeing other people's reactions... presents were all well received, and i got a request from my mom for a necklace like the one i had made my sisters. after presents, we made our traditional eggs benedict, and lazed around - watching the celtics season opener, and knitting. family started showing up around 4, and we visited with everyone, and finally sat down for our enormous meal. after hours of eating and chatting, my sisters and i went to see MI - as we go see a movie every Christmas evening. it was good. just a good shot-em-up movie.

monday: we woke up early (ish) and headed out for shopping. did a quick stop at our standard mall, and then headed back to gma's to see our cousin who was stopping in briefly for a visit with her husband. she is due in about 2 weeks, so it was amazing to see her before the baby comes. after a quick isit, we headed out to the next mall, and left with some deals. i'm happy to say i didn't spend a ton of money, but left with goodies (though i managed to buy 2 of the exact same sweater, from 2 stores - one grey, one black. apparently i don't dress outside my comfort zone often). we spent the rest of the night visiting with the fam, and eating my gma's cooking. she always 'cooks' for boxing day dinner - which translates into chinese food for 20. she's a great cook. we stayed up late watching home movies, and knitting, and laughing our butts off.

tuesday: woke up late, ate some leftovers, and watched crazy stupid love. we then drove out to the cottage, met the neigbours, and i packed my stuff, and my mom dropped me off at the go station. i managed to get a bunch of writing done, and got home at a reasonable hour... though the rest of the night was a bit of a waste - thoughts swirling through my head.

how was everyone's Christmas/Holiday weekend?

merry / happy Christmas / holidays / (late) Hanukkah

2011-12-25T07:36:00.000-08:00

today is a day. and it happens every year.
things i'm doing today: packing stockings for my mom/dad/gma, and watching them open them and laugh like small children; watching my sisters open their gifts that were hand made with love (photos of gifts to come following my Christmas gift giving... i was on a handmade prowess this year!); eating our typical eggs benedict breakfast, gorging ourselves on hollandaise sauce and poached eggs. and vegan bacon (contradictory, yes? i don't care); watching a movie, and prepping for dinner; eating dinner with one large family of 30+ people (gma, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, step cousins, 2nd step cousins, cousins significant others and so on); laughing – a LOT of laughing; going with the cousins to a movie Christmas night (our annual tradition); trying to get some writing in, for some upcoming articles I am writing for a website; sleeping very very well.

image from kelsey garrity illustration (via where the lovely things are)

i hope everyone, at the very least – whether celebrating Christmas or not – spends the day with whomever they choose. a movie character, a friend, family, strangers, or yourself. i hope everyone takes this weekend (as we should all year) to reach out to strangers who need someone – or a friend or family member who needs someone. i hope everyone buys/makes a toy for a child who may not have one under the tree. I hope everyone bought some extra hats and mittens for those who need them too.
but most of all, i hope everyone feels love, laughter, and warmth today.

and... to keep yourselves occupied... the most wonderful roundup of amazing Christmas recollections here.

countdown to Christmas - 1 day: holiday food

2011-12-24T16:48:00.000-08:00

food. oh glorious food.
i saved the best for last... because this is my second favourite part about Christmas... the food.
so. sharing with you some of my favourite holiday things... food related. egg nog, tofurkey, cookies, and all else in between.

from top to bottom: if i was not a slave to tofurkey... i would be making this - seitan roast stuffed with shiitakes and leeks from Post Punk Kitchen; black spiced rum eggnog; some good old fashioned gingerbread.... vegan. from owl versus dove; things i would eat on boxing day.... dilly stew with dumplings - from the post punk kitchen

and... for all you non-vegans... here is the spread of all spreads. and the recipes to match.
find recipes for all here (via mint design blog)

happy eating!

countdown to Christmas - 2 days: all i want for Christmas is you

2011-12-23T06:11:00.000-08:00

a girl can dream, right?
a few of the things on my 'ohpleaseohpleaseohplease' list. i'm aware that these things will not become a reality... but... (see above)
i struggle with Christmas, as I rarely need anything, and my wants are usually ones that i base on my own longings... not things that people should be responsible for. i also find that myself and my friends/family have too much 'stuff'. which no one needs. so then, how to get around this with gift giving? i often give homemade gifts, photos, cards with long letters, jewelry (that i make), and necessitys - baskets with food items, socks, etc.
i adore though, this concept from audrey marie at a lovely escape
want. need. wear. read.
her and her boyfriend buy eachother gifts, each year, based on what the other wants, needs, wears, and reads. she had some fellow bloggers put together their own lists. i've used this as my guide for this years dream list.

wants

glass bottles with wooden stoppers; toms wedges; Gold half round earrings (via unruly things' pinterest); 'comme ci comme ca' bag from monki (no longer available… boo hoo) - (via joy cho's pinterest); owl measuring cups; stackable number rings, from lulu frost (via honestly, wtf and joy cho’s pinterest)

needs

prada PR05NV eyeglasses in tortoise and honey; gucci 1635 eyeglasses In dark havana; prada PR07NV eyeglasses in ivory trap; wacks 51 cocobolo from oliver peoples

wears

Chasse tight from lululemon; grey loop scarf from wiksten made; live simply jacket from lululemon; james jeans in twiggy (black shadow);

raleigh shirt denim from heidi merrick APC liquette shirt dress in navy;

reads

a short history of Indians in Canada by thomas king; if I loved you I would tell you this by robin black; open season by CJ box; Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand; being polite to hitler by robb forman; boys and girls like you and me by aryn kyle

i'll also share this - gift guide from design is mine - because it is essentially my personal gift guide as well.

happy gifting everyone!

countdown to Christmas - 3 days: holiday party clothing, and everything in between

2011-12-22T05:45:00.000-08:00

i know, i know. i'm predictable.
i love sequins, ok? my go-to party outfits? sequins. whatever. they're awesome.
my top picks for looks and pieces for parties this holiday....

and though this is not quite a holiday party outfit... i plan on spending a lot of time in knee high socks, and rubber boots over the Christmas break. so. how appropriate. (plus, this is sort of how i dress for parties anyways... i'm not known for my formal tendencies)

from top to bottom: tom's glitters - via ruffled's pinterest; outift from a lovely escape; audrey hepburn, from mothgirl wings - via ruffled's pinterest; via rust and rain; (2) images from atlantic pacific

happy dressing!

countdown to Christmas - 4 days: decorating for the holidays

2011-12-21T10:55:00.000-08:00

i always struggle with decorating for the holidays... especially since, for the past 2 holiday seasons, i've lived in a shoebox sized apartment.
nevertheless, i end up pouring over design blogs, for ways to make things homey, holiday-y, and lovely... and the key is things i don't necessarily need to take down, once Christmas is over...
so. here are a few of my favourite ideas, things, and photos - all things that inspire me to transform my blank white interior into a cozy winter den.

vermont 'white christmas' inspired decorating - from design sponge

'all i want for Christmas' banner from nice (via fieldguided)

love the simplicity of this mistletoe from kiel mead (via butter & brass)

homemade snowglobes from a lovely escape

from Ez Pudewa's Pinterest - via design is mine

happy decorating!

countdown to Christmas - 5 days: holiday cards

2011-12-20T13:41:00.000-08:00

to start the countdown to christmas.... some of my favourite holiday cards, from some of my favourite designers...
love nicholas frith's stuff... and yes, perhaps it's because i'm a sucker for hedgehogs and anything gold.... but nevertheless...

rifle paper co. has an AMAZING selection of holiday cards… and they’re all stunning… the artwork. amazing.

I love the simplicity of parrotdesignstudio’s holiday cards… they’re just the perfect amount of simple and amazingly intricate

wildhorse press constantly impresses me… constantly. So their holiday card is no exception… I only wish they made more!

hello lucky makes beautiful stuff – and because they are a larger outfit, they can provide selection, and personalization. Love. Their. Stuff.

who's buying, and who's making this year?

my (hectic holiday) weekend in summary

2011-12-19T10:48:00.000-08:00

spending good quality face time with a few friends from church; a picture mikey (my sort of 2nd dad) holding a picture of mikey, holding a fish; wall to wall air mattresses - best way to live; celtics/raptors exhibition game; the boys (dad and jeff) embracing the holiday spirit; rice chopr on my walk home; photo inspiration for later... think i remember where i took this though?

Friday: once finished at work, I stopped briefly at the new loblaws at queen and portland (and yes, at joe. I couldn’t resist, AND managed to get an additional birthday present for my friend Stacie at the same time!). I then braved the rush hour traffic (which I can confidently say, increase my blood pressure and stress levels significantly, every time I do it) to get to dundas for a 7:30 holiday gathering. while I thought I would be late, I managed a 7:45 arrival time… not too shabby! stacie and nathan (parents of monkeys… and fantastic friends forever) had a few of us over for some appetizers, and general merriment – and it was so nice to see everyone… especially our friend dave who lives in montreal, who I haven’t seen in years (and keep promising to go visit while he’s living there… my list keeps growing). we all brought something, and ate WAY too much, drank amazing homemade cider (by Stacie, the most natural cook of cooks – she’s the one who inspires all my ‘basics’ cooking, i.e. the bagels I made). spent the night laughing so hard we could choke, and then finished with a general bible/religion discussion…. So nice to have friends who you can laugh with, and turn to philosophical discussions, on a dime. when we all realized it was midnight, we said our goodbyes, and I drove home to meet my parents and sister at our family friend’s house for their annual cookie exchange/Christmas party. had a great time – especially when the hosting couple (who are like another set of friends, or parents, to us) began gushing sentiments about their love for my parents… my sister and I were proud (we have kick ass parents). when we realized what time it was, I drove my sister’s friend home, and we were home to bed late.

saturday: woke up at 11 to head out to Toronto – after unpacking, and then repacking some exchange of goods for my apartment changes. – to meet with the ladies I donned with at Laurier (from such adventures as homecoming). was a little late, but nevertheless arrived to find Karli and Alex waiting for me at my apartment… after alex’s arrival from near the Manitoba border, where she teaches on a native reserve (so we rarely get to see her). We chatted, I got Alex some major food, and waited for leigh and elise to arrive… once they did, the rest of the day involved talking, eating Vietnamese food, talking, youtube videos, talking, drinking our customary bambino, talking, 'Christmas Vacation', talking, and wall to wall air mattresses. It was another late night (4am. Again. Worst), but so worth the time, and the laughs.
sunday: woke up at 9 for most of the ladies to take off – elise and leigh had to be back in Ottawa for 2, and they had to hit the road… and karli had a family Christmas gathering… so once we said adieu, alex and I spent the morning reading outpost magazines, talking about travelling, and what we hope for the future (it was a heavy weekend for convos). We then trekked to the subway, where alex went her way to meet up with her friend, and I headed down to union station to meet my dad, sister, and sister’s friend for the celtics/raptors exhibition game. celtics - my team – were in a rough way, with garnett hurt, rondo hurt, green having just been called out for the season, and pierce not playing due to injury. As a result, it was a pretty exciting game at the end, with the raptors missing a shot with a scramble under the net at the buzzer, and the Celtics winning by 1. I can’t emphasize enough how happy I am that the NBA season is on. Then headed back home, did some shopping, and went over to my friend’s place for mexican madness… our ritual. Spent the night eating amazing Mexican food, and more talking. amazing. walked home, and met with denver to discuss music, and our plans for big things. including a band.
Hope everyone was able to smash in as much visiting as I was this weekend – lots of parties and socializing everyone?
i'll leave you with these 2 things... my new list of favourite music, from denver and my convo, and one of my favs - garnett - taking the place on my list of new trashtalkers who will appease my need for trashtalking, now that reggie is gone (love that #4 moment in that video)...

love actually is all around.

2011-12-16T07:45:00.000-08:00

(i can't get into the Christmas mood, without first watching 'love actually' with my roommates from university. the tradition stemmed from procrastinating from exams, decorating our university house, and eating crappy/amazing food. now, i can't feel Christmas-y without it. this week, we got together, and watched it... finally. much needed time with my makeshift family)

photo from Emily Sarmiento on pinterest

image from weheartit.com

this weekend will be spent with many many people i love - tonight, with some church friends, including the parents of my little dumplings; saturday with the amazing women who i donned with in fourth year university; and sunday, first at the raptor's game (against the celtics - my. favourite.) and then to mexican madness with work friends....
hope everyone has a great, filled weekend... and that everyone remembers to take some time for themselves as well - which is hard this time of year!

holiday parties anyone?

i love things. a lot of them.

2011-12-15T07:01:00.000-08:00

things i'm in love with to date:

Cinema Knit in Burnt Orange and Olive from Oliver and Lilly's

pre-fall preview sweater from Oliver and Lilly's
(weird.... just got this as a gift, direct from Vancouver!)

these incredible wooden watches (via honestly, wtf)

gold dipped geo earrings; pale pink gold dipped geo ring; white gold dipped bead necklace all from a merry mishap

and that's all. just love.

'and at the end of all your lines | who will love you | who will fight | who will fall behind?'

2011-12-14T06:14:00.000-08:00

how does one begin an entry on experiencing a bon iver concert? with a question.... and a statement: there are no words.
i realized that i've never written about bon iver before - save for a small portion on his bonnie rait cover (which i'm in love with). i first heard about bon iver when i was finishing my post grad - i was spending a lot of time with music students who weren't sure if they loved or hated this man, who was blowing every theory about music out of the water. and when i listened... i knew. he was exactly my type of musician. i always shared with my friends that music wasn't simply about technicality - though that was plenty important - but it was also about making those who were listening, feel, think, and breathe in a certain way. as an un-trained ear, it didn't matter to me how they did it... as long as i felt something.
bon iver made me feel something - he made me feel what he felt. what more could you want from music? a feeling, an understanding, a belief in something so real and impenetrable, that you give your trust to that musician for the rest of the song.... that they will best encapsulate what they intend on conveying to you.
that was when i fell in love with justin vernon.
so when i was offered the oppourtunity to go see him (as i haven't been able to schedule a concert any time he's been near me), i jumped. i smiled so hard my cheeks hurt.
so, i spent the week counting down, and the entire month listening to him. then, this time, last week, i was preparing (and literally counting the hours) for the bon iver concert at massey hall. i read reviews of the previous night's performance, but they could not prepare me.
the experience itself was worth more than the words I can write on this page. the sounds, the motions, the energy and the soul within each of the words.... the 9 people on stage could no more magically have portrayed the emotion in each of the songs they played.
frank yang said it. without me having to:

"To recreate the solitary vibe of the recorded works, Bon Iver wouldn’t need to be anything more than Justin Vernon, a guitar and maybe some snow. So that Bon Iver was, instead, a nine-piece band armed with an orchestra’s worth of horns, percussion and guitars was the first sign that those expecting the show to be a celebration of sadness might be in for a surprise. Intimacy was not to be the tone of the evening, with the introverted nature of the songs checked in favour of grand, extroverted arrangements with big, jammy breakdowns, choral vocals and a constant trilling of horns and strings, all accented by a pulsing, occasionally strobing light show. No, no log cabin atmosphere here."

it was simply perfection. they walked out, and i had goosebumps. their intonation, phrasing, and the way they played the musical signature on each song was breathtaking. i could do no more than lean forward in my seat, and drink it all in. my hands clasped together the entirety of the time i had with them.... i sighed, i sang. my eyes did not blink for 2 hours.

image from shan_b's instagram

Breathtaking and everything I wanted.
the set list:

1. perth. 2. minnesota, WI. 3. calgary. 4. beach baby. 5. hinnom, TX.

6. wash. 7. towers. 8. creature fear. 9. blood bank. 10. team.

11. holocene. 12. re: stacks (justin vernon solo). 13. lisbon, OH. 14. beth/rest.

15. the wolves (act I and II).

THEN. encore.

my dream. the one i was worried would be missing.

skinny. love.

then who is it (a bjork cover) and for emma to finish it off.
i'll leave it at that. it was mezmorising. the company was perfect. it was the best way i could have imagined the night to go.

this video is the most stunning portrait of what this song means to me.

(listen to the entire concert set out in youtube videos here)

gift ideas (5) - wiksten made and fieldguided

2011-12-13T14:47:00.000-08:00

i have been in love with jenny gordy, and her wiksten items for.... forever. she may even be the single most reason my blog started becomming a daily thing. i have followed her across the country (in her writing), and watched her business grow... it's been so wonderful and inspiring to read her struggles, and her successes. she now manages this wonderful company, and gets to do what she loves, every single day. how much better could it possibly get than that?

jenny in her studio

her shop has just exploded... into a wonderful place with curated picks for sale, based on dresses, accessories, home items, fragrances and patterns (which is sort of where it all began). now she works with mcmc fragrances, object and totem, baggu, and odette new york.
the only problem with jenny's goodies? they sell out. fast.

a few of my (sold out) faves.....

enjoy jenny's shop, blog, and all the things she shares with us. love. her.

THEN

i can't say, how much i adore anabel and geoff.

fieldguided is one of my FAVOURITE toronto ventures, and their items are stunning.

'thunder in our hearts' tote in neon pink

'43rd parallel' tote

'secrets are the things we grow' totes

gift ideas (4) - those in need

2011-12-13T13:58:00.000-08:00

things that are easy: going on the computer. googling 'donations'. pulling out credit card. donating money in someone's name as a gift.
on my annual list of organizations whom i donate to, as gifts?

right to play.

second harvest food bank.

planned parenthood.

perhaps you can donate to these incredible organizations, or find some that mean something to you. easy as pie. the original DIY.

gift ideas (3) - around like a robin in the way that we see things

2011-12-13T12:43:00.000-08:00

prints. prints prints prints. there isn't anyone who isn't a mega photographer now... one of the best gifts i ever received from a friend was a 'seattle' print, from their trip.... due to my adoration for the city of seattle. the beautiful photo, very simply framed, was perfection.
don't have a photographic bone in your body?
my favourites....

park mist

pistachio

il pleut

all photos from alex's shop, 'round robin' on big cartel.

gift ideas (2) - just some dreaming... (jamie's dream gift guide)

2011-12-13T11:37:00.000-08:00

what do i personally want??
hmmmm....
dreaming of.

nikon D7000

iPad 2

both things to help my travel dreams take flight (i know... they seem materialistic, but they are both for my back, and mental health. trust me on this one).

gift ideas (1) - handmade housewear and a place to gather your thoughts

2011-12-13T10:47:00.000-08:00

i'm totally in love with this project for gifts.

handmade painted porcelaine.
i'm hundo doing this.
and then....

handmade notebooks. adore. make my own.

but... i mostly love what these are made of.

i simply can't get enough of these notebooks from the packegry (and, plus - their name is 'the packegry'. yes.)

and find all of their items in their etsy shop... which is FAR too dangerous for me to visit.

and so it begins..... holiday gift ideas.

2011-12-12T19:30:00.000-08:00

the holidays are a coming.
i'm the person who shrugs Christmas off until the last possible moment - not because i don't care for it, or not because i haven't prepared... instead, simply because i don't care to indulge in the moments prior to Christmas, that beg for moments of consumerism....
so instead, i stick to the month of December. December starts, and i'm willing to admit that it's coming.
and thus, begins, my dive into the holidays.
So.... this week is when i start - sharing with you my holiday picks...
enjoy!

my weekend in summary

2011-12-12T19:29:00.000-08:00

this weekend was not as productive as hoped, but it was a weekend nevertheless.

work party shots... things got messy; jill and i at the work part; me, waiting on wine; stone decisions for the necklace; show - the customers, and the ever lovely alex of 'round robin prints and jewelry'; my david's tea 'we're sorry' gift; one of the many gifts produced on my productive sunday.

friday: i had the day off (as our year end party for work was Thursday night, and i ALWAYS take the friday off), and slept in a bit. then spent the day with steph - met up at about noon for indian food buffet, for the first time since she moved home. caught up - FINALLY - shared some new developments in the hilarious story that is my life, and ongoing drama. after meeting a friend to drop off keys, we visited the bead store, for supplies and some stuff to make a work colleague/friend a necklace that she was going to spend WAY too much on at anthropology. we then headed to steph's to have tea, read quotes from sex and the city (and apparently quotes by me that steph recorded when we first became friends: "true love is sweating together"). i then left steph for a short period of time, and headed to etobicoke to meet with helen for dinner. we were supposed to do a full on charity ball reunion meeting, but as a result of some plans falling through, helen and i were the sole standing survivors. we did thai food, and lots of catch up (think almost 3 hours worth). I then headed back into the city, to a friend's party, which was supposed to be about 4 of us, and turned into an all night chat fest - which, was fantastic. it included conversation on sexuality and group homes - my. kind. of. night. late to bed.
saturday: woke up late, and just lounged around. watched part of zombieland, before it conked out, and had to settle for major league (charliesheenthankyouverymuch). then laid down for a nap, and had a real conversation with a friend.... unfortunately, it was a pretty serious, conversation, and meant i didn't have the time i initially wanted to have for prep for the show. ended up going straight to the show - which was a success! shows often are a ton of work for not a lot of return. since this is the first i've organized myself (i've only ever participated in shows that other people did themselves), i got out of it exactly what i expected... and that, to me, is a success. went home, watched gossip girl season 4, and made jewelry before bed. then slept.
sunday: woke up, met a friend for lunch at fresh, and picked up a 'we're sorry our staff was rude to you, but we're willing to do what it takes to win you back' gift from david's tea. very. impressed. great reaction time from them on twitter. them, spent the rest of the day making gifts, cards, and cleaning *ahem*sortofnotreally*ahem*. went to bed FAR too late, but got a shit ton done.
hope everyone had a great weekend! i'm still sort of reeling, sad, and introspective from the events of the weekend, but hopefully things will work out as they should. a probable blog entry coming soon.

'you know it's you who calls me back here'

2011-12-11T15:35:00.000-08:00

i've written about this before.... but this song never stops being relevant to my personality. and my life. and my drifting ways. and how much i wish i could settle them.

so... just need to share this today.

just like a child

2011-12-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

image from lifetoheryears.com/

“what would the child you once were think of the adult you have become” - unknown

just be a kid this weekend... get a cardboard box, a tutu, some chalk, and a giant dessert.

happy weekend all!

life goes on

2011-12-08T06:35:00.000-08:00

so. i've always been absolutely infatuated with seesaw letterpress. the simple prints, the amazing colour combos (love the grey and yellow on the notecards below).

'hello there' greeting cards

2011 calendar

happy birthday and hello friend note cards

but in visiting their blog today, i came upon bittersweet news - they are all going their seperate ways.

The three designers responsible for seesaw press for the past 4 years - Angela Hardison, Raquel Raney, and Lindsay Tingstrom - are all working on their own adventures.

there comes a time in a creative persons life, at which they must decide where to go from here. i don't think it's specific to a lifetime of creativity, but i do feel as though it's much more challenging to put down something you've started from scratch, and move forward without any sadness.

the lovely ladies of seesaw press

the ladies put it quite eloquently though:
"We have some bittersweet news today. After over four great years of design and blogging at SeeSaw, we have decided to go our separate ways and explore new opportunities. This is a big change, but we're excited for what's in store. We have loved sharing our inspiration here, and will always be grateful for the connections we've made with all of you. A huge thanks to our clients, readers and sponsors for the support over the years. It's not quite goodbye though! We hope you'll follow each of us in our new adventures"
with parting ways, come new oppourtunities, and the chance to use the ideas and skills that you've gained from collaboration, on new adventures, more specific and precise to your passions.
what am i, therefore, excited for?
angela hardison's design consulting: her website is being built, and the main page alone appeases me in so many ways. angela blogs so beautifully here - and she's pregnant! her design perspective is so much enjoyed by many... her eye for colour, lines, design, and combinations are incredible. you'll love her. i promise. (plus, she's one of the cutest pregnant women i've ever seen).

angela hardison's design page

Raquel Raney's design website: Raquel is teaming up with Rebeca to work on a design project. and listen. if her design work can be predicted by her incredible blogging on her website.... i. can't. wait.

raneytown with raquel and rebeca

Lindsay Tingstrom's design website: though there's not much to go with on Lindsay's site... I simply adore what she has started. not to mention, lindsay's posts on the seesaw press blog were among my fav posts ever - like these post on nat nicklin, alyson fox, olivia malone and this post on grey and white design
you can check out more of their amazing designs at the links - now with exponentially more inspiration!
thanks for the creativity ladies... and best of luck in your new paths

'when we look up and see the sky | through the tangle of spun lies'

2011-12-07T14:39:00.000-08:00

in reflection and with intention.... i have to revisit a blog entry i wrote a little while ago.
the situation has come full circle, and has provided me with much insight. it has provided me with the insight to say that i still stand by my beliefs of a person's feelings of love, and what those feelings mean to their life, other relationships, and ourselves.
i was able to have a conversation recently with the ex-girlfriend referred to in my first entry, as well as a mutual friend of all of ours... and what light it shone. essentially, the conversation broke down 4 different stories - his, hers, friend's, and mine. and interestingly enough the only 2 that were somewhat parallel were mine, and the friend's.

'Go find another lover | To bring a... to string along | With all your lies | You're still very lovable' - bon iver

throughout this scenario, i had been called a stalker, insistant, obsessive, and more. the beauty of the situation is that anyone who knows me, knows i am not the type - i'm distant, cold, and unwilling even to those who i am willing to open up to.
i could spend pages with notes on what we spoke about, the things that made the three of us laugh, speechless, or snicker. i could have also recoiled with letters/emails of defense, shock, accusations and clarification of lies.
however.

instead, i find peace.

image from weheartit.com

the beauty of the truth is that it rises above all - proverbial oil on water. no matter how mixed into the concrete swarms of lies that truth becomes, it somehow manages to emerge, sparkling clean, ready to share itself. and share itself it did.
so again, i reiterate - "what is it about love that turns who we are, and what we know, on our heads?"
a feeling so strong it causes even the most seemingly pulled together person, to utilize self-preservation methods to their own demise... to isolate friends, business connections, and the like, while maintaining only their face value. when, in time, that face value becomes further depleted once those truths rise to the surface. and they always do. they always come to the top.
and again, i reiterate - this situation, i simply use as a platform. i don't think there is much spectacular about this scenario i found myself intertwined in, other than its reality that i have embraced. i think it speaks to many things about love and relationships, friendships and truth, that we have all - at one point or another - found ourselves to be true of human nature.
one of the things that we chatted in length about, was her trust in my validity. i have nothing to gain - in fact, i'm sure i make more enemies through my blog, than i do friends. but you see, my friends, that's not the point. the point is to just write. to spill truths in every shape and colour into my writing. to share with friends and strangers. and, perhaps most importantly - to not be censored. i rarely use names (unless reflecting on a weekend, or praising a friend), because other people's privacy is important to me. it is, and always has been, my decision to write on this blog. and from that, comes transparency. strangers who become friends; people who know things about you that sometimes friends don't; your truth on the world's stage.
i don't hide anything - and i won't start now.
so i can say this - in reflection: the truth starts with ourselves. i vow to be truthful with myself, about my feelings, wants, needs, desires, and strengths. and through that, comes the confidence to be true with everyone around me. a lie comes from insecurity. and i will not be known as that person - and i think, a few more people in this world (as discovered by a thick and perfect conversation) have decided not to invite those people into any part of their being anymore.

truth - image from weheartit.com

can we love ourselves enough to prohibit lies and poor treatment? i'm going to find out.
and i maintain how i finished my last entry.....

"so this i wish for all of us – those who are reading: i sincerely hope we find happiness. i hope those who hurt us, realize they have hurt us. i hope we only allow people to love us the way that we deserve to be loved. and the way that we all deserve to sacrifice everything – relationships, creativity, dignity, and our hearts – for. i hope that we all find the strength in ourselves to do what we love – despite what other people expect of us. i hope that we can allow ourselves to move forward, learning from our experiences. i hope we can finally find ourselves comfortable with our various relationships – in such a way that we don’t have to worry about what people think.

and until these things happen - and after they are all proven true - i maintain that i continue to write for myself. an outlet. a therapy. you can read, or you can ignore. but if you make the conscious decision to read, then this is written for you, but not to you. it's to me. hopefully a way to communicate to my future, or former self that one day, it will all turn out the way it is supposed to."

to the adventurers

2011-12-06T06:40:00.000-08:00

love love love herschel supply... and their newest look book is unbelievable.

they have great duffels - in their basic design and a new design with a shoe compartment - amazing and classic wallets, and fantastic hiking packs that can be used for everyday use. i'll never stop loving this little sucker too.
go! shop! be gone with you!

one wild and precious life

2011-12-05T17:57:00.000-08:00

image from pinterest.com

take today to do it then.

my (long and vacation-ish) weekend in summary

2011-12-05T15:35:00.000-08:00

this weekend was a bit of a 'staycation' for me.... friday and today (monday) off work... so i finally got the chance to do a few things i'd been meaning to for a while - get a new couch (or shop for one anyways) reorganize my place, etc.

the plan for my living room - chaise and footstool (from last weekend); apparently 'movember' isn't as over as we thought!; wine... dear wine; lamb bacon pizza. so. delicious.; why i cheer for the patriots; my sister and i, and our cousin's 2 kidlets; playing with my sister's talking bird (she's a kid at heart); helping grandpa blow out birthday candles; my car going from 99,999 to 100,000.... right before i try to sell it (my next big project)

friday: woke up late (slept in - i barely remembered what that was like), and went to sadie's for brunch with a friend. enjoyed (as i always do) the choc peanut butter banana smoothie and some tofu scramble (drool).... then went to la merceria to look at all their home goods, and try to ignore their amazing smelling coffee.... before heading to ikea for my new sofa combo. i decided to get rid of my old pink/brown sofa that my parents have owned before i was born, and was hurting my back further i'm sure from sitting in it. after some careful consideration (and being talked out of building my own sofa.... tee hee - though i'm still very much enthralled with the idea of this.... so maybe shelves will suffice), i decided to go with a chaise lounge and footstool. picked up the footstool at ikea - one with storage underneath, which is perfect for my small place. went grocery shopping (which i haven't done in forever) and spent the rest of friday reorganizing, cleaning, tidying, and lo and behold - going to bed early. amazing.
saturday: woke up late (i love weekends with nothing to do), and had some breakfast, and then went to lit espresso bar for some coffee, reading, and relaxation. then, when i arrived back home, i watched some gossip girl (just got the new-to-me season 4), and did some work. then headed out to pizzeria libretto for dinner - put our names on the list, and went to the crooked star for my obligatory pre-dinner-drinks, and waited. worth. the. wait. (as always). enjoyed the proscuitto and arugula pizza, and the lamb bacon pizza. had a great bottle of wine, and some proscuitto and buffalo mozzarella for appetizers.... and, as always, they're amazing bread with my most FAVOURITE thing in the world - their chilli oil (they must add unicorn dust to it, because it's unbelievable). then headed home to bed. late. night.
sunday: woke up in time to meet Caitlin at the tampered press, to chat about the details for our event on saturday december 10th. it's a PERFECT space for our gathering, with tons of beautiful space, tables to move, and perfect tables for a bar setting (everyone should come!). had an amazing americano, and read the paper... while taking notes and drawing floor plans for saturday. then, headed to sneaky dee's for football, vegan food (nachos and vegan burro favorito), and football. oh. football sundays. got a last minute phone call from my mom and sister that my mom's side of the family were going to be at my parent's for dinner, so headed out to the west end for a huge turkey dinner. LOVE last minute family dinners. got to spend time with my aunt and uncle, cousin and her husband, and their little ones. plus, my sister, who i haven't seen forever. for any extended period of time. it was fantastic.
monday: woke up late (i LOVE how this works), cleaned more, watched more gossip girl, purged some old magazines, made some stuff for the show on saturday, and tried to catch up on emails... as well as planning events like crazy (trying to coordinate people's schedules over the holidays is SO challenging). planning on heading to fresh for dinner tonight, before i head back to work tomorrow.
this week's a crazy one - prep night for the show on saturday, bon iver concert, work year-end party, spending the day catching up and doing holiday get togethers with friends, then the show.... so having a weekend to just... be... was so worth it.
*sigh. and it all passes so quickly. hope everyone enjoyed the weekend.... and hope this inspires everyone to take a LONG weekend for no reason... more often!

be kind.

2011-12-02T13:35:00.000-08:00

image from inspiredjoyfulchaos.tumblr.com/

it can never hurt to be kind.
i'm spending this weekend as a long weekend - i have friday and monday off work, to spend with a friend who is visiting. i'm also hopefully getting a new sofa, having my old one donated, and being productive in 'cleaning house' if you will.
have a great weekend everyone!

wanting to share some exciting news...

2011-12-01T14:19:00.000-08:00

... that my incredible friends caiter (my roommate in first year, turned enemy, turned one-of-my-best-friends) and matty welcomed their healthy son into the world just after 2am this morning.
i feel like it was such a short time ago that they told us they were expecting - and now they are a wonderful family of three.
i can't wait to be part of this baby's world... and i can't wait for him to be part of our university family.
much love.

home(made) for the holidays

2011-12-01T07:07:00.000-08:00

ok.
handmade can mean 2 things.
1. making gifts yourself - potentially cheap and tacky, but also potentially fantastic.
2. buying handmade items from artists.
i'm going to help you do both.
1. making gifts yourself: if you're a DIY'er - like me - then you're going to exhaust energy in making things for friends and family. this is what i'm doing mostly this year. i've got a bag filling up with things i've handcrafted - card sets, jewelry, broaches, cookbooks, etc. and yet i'm still often lost for ideas.
luckily for me (and you - and us), the blogs I scour daily provide TONS of DIY ideas and instructions. my personal faves?
honestly wtf - for example, this necklace. c'mon. so. good. as well as ps: i made this. j'adore.
2. buying handmade items from artists: buying something that someone has handmade with painstaking care is the best option for many many many. this is one of MY preferred methods, as i am a handmade'er, and i love trading with friends who are also professional artists. knowing that you've supported their trade, and they've ended up with something you spent time and care on.... it's amazing.
so. if you're looking for places to shop.... then this is the right place to get there.
20 best twenty is my fave. 20 of the best 20 in various categories. special deals from the people who they feature. love love love everything on this site.
poppy talk handmade has market's that are FILLED to the brim with amazing, handmade pieces.
and then, the usual etsy and big cartel.
and if you felt so inclined.... re:claim jewelry is (as always) on sale for the holidays... special pricing for those blog readers who use the discount code INCONSISTANCY (inconsistancy with an 'a') in the shop - from today (December 1st) until December 14th, when all orders need to be in by, for shipping. think special pricing, like 25% off of fall items (using code INCONSISTANCYfall), 35% off the seattle series (using code INCONSISTANCYseattle), and 40% off spring items (using code INCONSISTANCYspring) sort of special pricing.... yea. i said it.

we should all buy handmade. it's better here.

so go now. because starting TODAY, most of my most favourite designers, photographers, jewelers, etc. have collaborated, and are having a 1 week, collaborative sale. check out their handmade holiday

no self respect - waiting for an email all day (refresh, refresh, refresh)

2011-11-30T20:25:00.000-08:00

i'm so in love with this illustrated journal, started by lizzy stewart, from the UK.
lizzy's work is fantastic - she's an illustrator, based in London, who creates work partially inspired by folk culture, music, and places. combined with her motivation to portray things in a story, makes for great work.
now, this journal, is just amazing pieces of her own life. that seem to be true reflections of my own? maybe awkward is just cross cultural. nevertheless... her reflections on life are outstanding and hilarious.
i'm in love. maybe because she reminds me, of me, but either way. check her journal, and then website, out.

'i want you to trust me and know that every time i look at you, all i see is wonderfulness'

2011-11-29T14:44:00.000-08:00

i don't often do this. but i can't POSSIBLY put into words more beautifully, what kat writes. so i'm not going to. i'm literally going to copy, paste, and source the shit out of it.

Forget Reality: Let’s Fall In Love By Kat George

We snagged, just for a second there, didn’t we? We bumped our heads together like idiots and we both came up concussed. Everything was going so wonderfully, I was so delirious for you, but then… well, it’s life happening, not some romantic dream. And I hope, I really do wish it with my eyes squeezed tightly closed and my hands balled firmly into fists at my sides as I concentrate, that next time we see each other we forget what’s “real” and indulge in our reality instead.
Because our reality, right now, it’s just about falling in love. Let’s put the real stuff aside—the past, our insecurities, all the baggage we’ve imported from all our journeys—and let’s just be. This is our moment to be fanciful, and we might not get another one, at least not together. I don’t want to have to “deal” and “cope” and “work” yet. For now I just want to kiss you and lose myself in all the small moments when you wrap your arms all the way around me.
Things are complicated, I know, but let’s soar above that, at least for a day. Let’s make getting to know each other about all the wonderful things that made us fall into each other’s embrace in the first place. Let’s not mar it with all the ugly crap we’ve filled our pockets with over the course of the years we’ve already lived without each other’s company. And then, once we’re madly in love, and only then, we can unleash it all upon each other, so that we’re equipped to deal with it the way that lovers do—patiently and compassionately.

You know how it is when we’re laughing? That’s how I want it to be all the time when we’re together. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not idealistic or selfish—if you’re having a bad day I will be there to hold you and hold you until you don’t feel sore anymore, and I’ll do it without complaint or request. I’ll do it because I care about you deeply. But listen: we’re not ready for the heaviness of the past yet. We can share and laugh and rub away each other’s daily miseries but I don’t want to delve into the backwardness of all that came before. Not yet, at least.
I want you to trust me and know that every time I look at you all I see is wonderfulness. I see lights and rainbows and everything good and awesome about this world all radiating out of you at once. Yes, I’m intense and yes, I’m romantic, but can’t you just take my adoration for a second and let it make you as happy as it makes me? Relax into me, because I’ve got you on a pedestal now, and there’s no one else in the room but us. And this is half the reason I don’t want to share the dirty stuff with you—because every now and then you make me feel so warm it’s as though nothing else ever existed.
We could be best friends, you and me; we’re so alike in so many ways. And now we have to decide whether we’re going to knock our likenesses against each other and explode into tiny bits that splatter against the walls, streaking downwards and pooling in insidious puddles, or if we can make those likenesses build each other up, like great cities or rolling mountains. I’d like to think that we could be a team, that we could conquer everything together. That we’ll draw from each other to be stronger and better. That we’ll still be holding hands through all of winter’s blizzards
(seriously - i didn't write this. kat did. and she's amazing. and she wrote all of this)

she goes by the name of margaret howell

2011-11-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

this women? genious. absolute, genious. women's clothes, men's clothes. they do housewares, and children's clothes. i'm just enthralled. i adore the colours, the belts, the scarves. i adore the 'smudgeness of it' (if i may take a line from my new favourite movie). just... enjoy.

find margaret howell here. and... shop online? don't mind if i do...

to grateful

2011-11-28T16:36:00.000-08:00

image from pinterest.com/

and every day forward.

happy monday!

my (reclusive) weekend in summary

2011-11-28T16:30:00.000-08:00

It was a long weekend. one that I anticipated celebrating various things with various people, but ended up simply reflecting.

my prepped present to emma (that never got delivered); what my medicine cabinet looks like, the afternoon after a migraine and back pain (fully rummaged through for drugs); my (hopefully) new couch set up for my living room area.

friday: was meant to celebrate with my dear friend emma, for her bday. I unfortunately spent the day in a lot of pain, so when I got home, I lounged on the couch, and ‘drugged up’ legal drugs only, of course. I stayed close to home instead…. and missed her bday.
saturday: spent literally the entire day in bed – migraine, back pain, throwing up. Great Saturday overall. watched forrest gump, and literally laid in bed until 6 or 7. I then picked myself up, and shook myself off, and got ready to go celebrate a ‘new start’ with my lovely friend Susan, who was having a get together. Picked up my friend alex (of 'a curious gathering' fame) and her husband thomas, and we went for some drinks (mine was straight up water – super exciting), and got to catch up with another friend missy, who we haven’t seen for almost a year. headed out fairly early, and was home and in bed by midnight.
sunday: woke up for my 7:30 am MRI – and for the first time, forgot to remove a ring, and had the panicked experience of trying to stop the MRI, etc. I can confindently say, I still have my finger. Once the test was done, went home, and got some more sleep, before meeting my friends nate and brianne at Ikea, and then going to licks for lunch. I then spent the evening hanging out, and went for a drink, and some dinner at pizzeria libretto – my. fave.

can’t wait for the next weekend, as I’m taking a few days off for a friend to come visit, and feel like this past weekend was a waste (though I did get some movie watching and book reading in!). hope everyone enjoyed the weather, and had a GREAT weekend!

i love me some fridays

2011-11-25T07:14:00.000-08:00

it's the weekend.

so. yea.
i get to celebrate with one of my best friends in the entire world - my baby. my life. my little emma.
so. in celebration of her life, everyone should drink some pink champagne.

have a good one all!

my creative twin

2011-11-24T06:06:00.000-08:00

i need to share with you all, this designer, for a few reasons:
1. i found her through a blog (can’t remember which one), and i was INSTANTLY drawn to her designs. she uses mediums that i love experimenting with, and mixes and matches so beautifully well.
2. Her shop name is ‘Dispatches From Graceland’ jewelry. suuuuuuuch a jamie name.
3. listen. this is just weird. so focus here. her web address on etsy is ‘mama shea shea’. emma - i’m looking at you here. this was my nickname (mama shea) in university. i. am. freaked. out.
grace describes her style in her design as an intentional pairing of “the rough with the refined, the precious with the primitive, the natural with the industrial, and the colors of the sea with the colors of the land“
all of her designs are one of a kind, or limited edition. i love this. this is how i create my pieces as well.
i adore her mixing of chains, in different sizes, shapes, and materials. i love her integration of rocks, fabric, metals and chains, without steering clear from her overall aesthtic - as a jewelry designer, i know how challenging that is.
a few of my faves (which trust me - were so difficult to choose from)

from top to bottom: diamonds on the inside earrings*; oceans apart necklace; the urchin is lurchin necklace; chain collage necklace; bebela necklace; honey pie tassled necklace; and i think, perhaps my favourite piece of hers... the jakarta necklace
i’d also like to point out that we MAY be the same person, as even the aesthetic of our photos are almost the same.... please note: (re:claim's product photography)
you can find her work at the bell jar in San Fran, Out Boutique in Paris France, the Charlestown Gallery in Charlestown RI, and at the chimneys violin shop in Boiling Spring, PA.
*(reminds me of this.... one of my favourite ben harper songs of all time... )

mo is for movember.

2011-11-23T06:38:00.000-08:00

ok folks.
it's that time of year. the time all men love, and all women hate.
it's movember.

so, yet again, i opened the floor up to some of my favourite men in the world, to prove to my why i should donate to them.
why do i do it? i reiterate.
i have great friends. friends who put up with my attempts to raise money for issues that mean something to me. friends who show up to parties, garage sales, and support me in any other way that they know how. So when the oppourtunity arises for me to support these friends myself, i will do what i can, within my means, to help them.
Movember is the new November - where men start with a clean shaven face, and grow a moustache for the entire month. the 'stache serves as a sort of 'pink ribbon' for mens health, and more specifically prostate cancer (which is where the raised funds go).
the beginning of movember was australia in 2003 - a few guys sitting around, drinking beer, decided that bringing back the old burt reynolds would be fantastic, and if they could somhow combine that with the missing link of fundraisers for men's health, it would be a hand in hand victory for mankind. "Inspired by the women around them and all they had done for breast cancer, the Mo Bros set themselves on a course to create a global men’s health movement."
last year, i donated to my dear friends graham, ben, and cole - and a latecomer, luke.
and this year was no less entertaining.
through a series of shoutouts, i received various reasons from various people. these were the top 3.

cole, jake and eric.

cole - yet again, cole came out on top. his daily underwear photos, his witty moustache and pantsless jokes...
coles reason? "If for no other reason than I may have coined the term: .donate to this swarthy cause'. And because I once mistakenly called you a "prostate," thinking it was a cuter version of prostitute."
good enough for me. donate to cole here
jake - jake's always looking for a good reason to make a corny joke... and is always managing to do good things for this world. what a great double duty.
jake's reason? "Jamie, you should sponsor me because I aim to find a happy, mustache medium between this and this"
well jake - you know me well (you BETTER!).
donate to jake here.
eric was a newcomer to the game. i work with eric, and couldn't help but notice the giant blond caterpillar on his upper lip. disgusting, really. his plea? more on the serious side of things... which i can jive with. eric's reason? "why am I so passionate about men's health? on average men live 4-5 years less than women; 1 in 7 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime; 25,500 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer this year in canada"
deal. done. donate to eric here.
It's the least I can do, to spread their word. And please - donate to this worthy cause.

do you like moustaches? then here are some more goodies for you....

movember necklaces... i'm looking straight at the urban stache... (though the website wasn't working when i last looked... try it again)
if you're upset that you can't grow a stache, or one of the many ladies who just can't..... grab your own ready made moustahces at the drake general store.

and.... for the record - i'm buying these. you can also buy them here.

toms limited edition movember shoes - i want i want

a curious gathering...

2011-11-22T12:39:00.000-08:00

looking for something to do on december 10th? this is what i've been working on.... alluded to here, here, here and here.
a small curious gathering for all those who are interested. featuring the photography of alex rey, jewelry by erin green, and cards and other goodies by kelly logan.

and, of course, jewelry by re:claim, and thackeray’s vanity.

check out the facebook invite here….. come one, come all!

'you took my sorrow and you took my pain'

2011-11-22T07:57:00.000-08:00

this song is so painful, and yet, encapsulates everything there is to know about meeting someone by accident - at a time that you didn't want to meet anyone, and in a way you didn't want to feel about someone.... and accepting that life just happens - whether you want it to or not. and it hurts, and it makes you live a certain way beyond that moment - but sometimes it's so so worth it.....

And I can spend my whole life hiding my heart away

(and adele does a great version as well)

do it today.

2011-11-21T16:33:00.000-08:00

image originally from pinterest.com

today. not tomorrow. and not the next day.

happy monday!

my weekend in summary

2011-11-21T13:28:00.000-08:00

This weekend was filled with babies. Lots and lots of babies. And it was marvelous.

my little monkey face; me and my monkey and her new boots; me holding my new little munchkin niece for the first time; my nephew playing piano for my niece - so. cute.; the 2 families; the sisters (auntie jamie, chantel and lisa), and the kidlets; baby shower for laura with katie; the proud mom and dad

Friday: hopped on the GO train right after work to meet my friend chantel, to head to a home sale party (one of those parties where they try to sell you products… clearly I was not buying anything…). We spent the night there, then grabbed harvey’s, and went back to chantel’s to watch the rest of kingpin with her husband slash my sort of brother ryan, and then dumb and dumber – “are you guys going to quote every line before they say it?” we have a problem. Went to bed early for a Friday, and vowed to tell everyone that we stayed up way later than we did.
Saturday: woke up SUPER early with the baby, and spent the morning with chantel, ryan, and the baby. We then packed up, and headed over to lisa and mike’s place (chantel’s sister Lisa), to see my new little niece* who was born on Tuesday. So nice to spend the time with them. Then, chantel and ryan dropped me off at my parent’s where I intended to meet up with high school friends. Unfortunately it didn’t work out, so I hitched a ride back to Toronto, and spent the evening eating homemade (vegan) macaroni and cheese, drinking wine with my landlords, and making jewelry for the upcoming sale. Watched horrible bosses, and friends with benefits (which I actually expected to be good, and was not. Couldn’t figure out why they didn’t just date right from the start. Dumb). went to bed. great night.
Sunday: woke up in time to coordinate with my sister and mom, to head to my cousin’s baby shower. Spent the afternoon looking at baby clothes, and chatting with family… couldn’t believe that it’s been a year since her and her husband got married (in December), and I haven’t seen her since then! Then, was dropped off at home, and left to make dinner, and clean/organize like crazy. Also managed to get in north country and 17 again (I know, shut up) while organizing. Loooove that feeling. Did a bit of reading (about halfway through veronika wants to die, a book by Paulo Coelho, which was the inspiration for a movie I’d love to see with my boyfriend jonathan tucker), and then off to bed.

*just in case anyone hasn’t recognized, there are a few of my friend’s children who I call nieces and nephews – three families. These are two of them.

care, kindness and understanding

2011-11-18T07:39:00.000-08:00

image from imgfave.com/

to me, this is the perfect way to start a weekend... by rewarding ourselves and others for just getting through the days. this weekend, i get to spend with my family who i haven't seen in forever, friends, and their amazing kidlets - including my newest little niece, born on tuesday of this week. i. can't. wait.
extend some care, kindness and understanding this weekend - and enjoy it!

how do i know?

2011-11-17T15:26:00.000-08:00

my friend sent this to me, and said it should be an addendum to my post regarding 'dating tips for boys'.
and i agree. because i think it's sweet. and though obviously variable from woman to woman.... i think it's points out the important aspects of what we should all believe in - in love.
we should believe in laughing with the person who we love. we should believe in laughing frequently with the person who we love. we should all believe in dancing, playing, talking, and singing with the person who we love. we should all believe in listening to the person who we love. and we should - above all else - absolutely believe in loving the person who we love.
i haven't posted the full entry... so check it out here, to read them all.
Question: How do I know if a girl loves me or not? —Ajay

Answer: If she knows what song is coming next on the mix CD you made her: She loves you.
If she hides your shoes when you’re late for work, and from a supine position on the couch plays “Hot/Cold,” and, finally, after 15 minutes of you ignoring her screaming, “Boiling! Burning up!” every time you stalk angrily by the dishwasher, gets up, flips it open to reveal the shoes, sitting there among the plates, and hands them over with a kiss and a giggle, and then laughs some more as you tie your laces in a silent rage: She loves you.
If she calls you at work that day to ask, “How are those shoes working out?”: She loves you.
If when you get home you try to hide something of hers, she finds it immediately, shaking her head, and when she pulls whatever it is—oven mitts or stretch pants—from behind the couch, she looks at you and without any attempt to hide her pity, says, “I love you”: She loves you.
If she dances with your friends: She loves you.

image from weheartit.com/

If she says, “I love you” on the roller coaster, right after you’ve puked down your shirt: She loves you.
If you go to a karaoke bar with friends and do a duet of “Endless Love,” and she insists on doing the Lionel Richie part if only so she can really belt out a big “Ooh whoa” near the end, and when you’re done she announces you to the crowd as “Miss Diana Ross, everybody,” and then gives you a high-five: She loves you.
If her parents love you: She loves you, probably. If her parents hate you: She might love you, too.
If she loves you, if she really loves you, you’ll know it. If you can wake up to her staring at you and it’s not even mildly creepy, if you catch her smelling the shoulder of the hooded sweatshirt you lent her for an autumn walk at the beach, and not for B.O., if she makes you a pancake in the shape of a shark, if she calls you drunkenly at four in the morning “to talk,” if she laughs at your jokes when they’re funny and makes fun of you when they’re not, if she keeps her fridge stocked with Guinness tallboys for when you come over, if she tells you how she wishes she were closer to her sister and that her dad makes her sad: She loves you, of course she loves you.
And with a love like that, you know you should be glad.

with subtle movement

2011-11-17T06:45:00.000-08:00

stunning. simply stunning. i echo the sentiment of the many people who have blogged about these before - they are the most beautiful and enchanting gifs i have ever seen.

all from cinemagraphs.com/ (via palomarie)

dating rules for women - part 1

2011-11-16T06:26:00.000-08:00

so. following my post on 'dating rules for boys - part 1' i received a TON of comments from male friends who felt that they had a lot to say about dating women as well.... and i was excited to hear. so. i asked a dear friend of mine, tyler, to compile what would be a top 10 list of rules for women. since we're both single, we talk until we're blue in the face about the people we date, and i can attest that he HAS in fact dated some of these weirdos.

so, without further adieu ladies... your top ten rules, straight from the mouth (or keyboard) of tyler.

1. Commit to the time/date: When I call to ask you out, if you can't commit to the time on the phone, make sure you get back to me in a reasonable amount of time. Too often girls, will wait until the day of to say they are or aren’t available.
2. Be Honest: If you aren’t interested or simply aren’t excited to go on the date, don’t accept the invitation. Be open and up front and just say you aren’t interested anymore. Chances are I will survive. I don’t know if it’s the city I live in or the girls I seem to be attracted to, but they love heads games and these will get you nowhere. Eventually, I’ll move on and you’ll be left wanting more.

gif from fuck yeah bridesmaids on tumblr

3. If we’re on the 1st or 2nd date, don’t bring up past relationships or your ex-boyfriend: Red flag city. I can’t emphasize this anymore than that. If you bring up past relationships, relationship fears, ex-boyfriend issues, there’s a very strong chance you wont get another phone call from me. If I determine that you have more issues than Fantasy Football team, I’ll be done. It’s tough enough managing my fantasy football team, let alone your fears and expectations.

4. If you offer to pay, actually mean it.: A girl I used to date would offer to pay but would then hold it against me when I allowed her to pay. If I invite you out on the date, I’ll pay. However if we make mutual plans and you offer to pay, don’t get upset when I let you pay. There’s something about a woman that is confident in her ability to contribute and guys pick up on that. It’s one of the first things I’ll tell my buddies when I debrief on the night out. If you do it with confidence and its genuine, it goes a long, long way.

5. When we’re out, have an opinion: A girl I dated used to always say “whatever you want.” Although it sounds great to always have what you want, that phrase sends chills down my spine. For example, if we’re out for dinner and I ask you what kind of wine you want, tell me what you want. If Red Wine gives you migraines and you prefer white, say so. A girl that will stand up for herself and speak her opinion is incredibly sexy.

6. Thanks for stopping by, San Diego: Maintain some intrigue. Don’t talk about how you want me to meet your friends\parents\grandparents right away. Don’t tell me how much you want me to go on an all-inclusive vacation in 3 months. Let’s walk before we run. The more you try to show me that you see me in your future, the more I’m not going to want to be in it. Now, the more you get to know someone, the less truth this holds. But if you’ve only known one another for 2 months, stay classy. I like you. I’m not going anywhere. However, if you continuously talk about how you want me to go to Hawaii with you in April and we just met in September, you’ll lose me pretty fast. A while ago, I met a girl in August and we had dated for 3 weeks when she had made plans for me fly to Hawaii at Christmas with her. I looked like Usain Bolt running from that girl.

gif from fuck yeah cougartown on tumblr

7. But Mostly, Stay Classy San Diego: When we’re out on our 1st or 2nd date, don’t tell me about that one time when you went to the club, blacked out, and ended up in some random guys bed. Sure, you might sound like a fun time, but if I’m on a date with you, I want more than just random sex. You’re tales of disastrous nights where you are out until 6 am only serve as a warning. You’re thinking I’m going to love that you’re so much fun. I’m thinking you’re a liability. K, Thanks, Bye.

gif from failblog.org

8. Let me lead the way at the end of the night: If the date went well, chances are I’m going to at least kiss you on the cheek when we say our goodbyes. So when I do, let me take the lead. The first kiss is always awkward but it sets the tone for things to come. I’ve had dates where it’s been an amazing date but any time we went to kiss, it was awkward and it set the tone for our physical interactions going forward and ultimately led to us not seeing one another again.

9. Show me the money. Well, show me you like me. I just wanted to use a Tom Cruise line as a Title line (name the movie.): There`s not much better when you really enjoyed your date and you receive a simple text from her the next morning saying how she also really enjoyed her night. Show your appreciation for the effort we put in and you`ll continue to see more and more from me.
10. If our dating turns into something more, be confident in yourself: If we start getting more serious, don’t let your insecurities towards relationships/men come to the surface so quickly. The moment you start saying “don’t leave me,” is the moment I’ll start to mentally and physically check out of the relationship. A man wants a woman that will challenge him not put him on a pedestal. Be confident that if we didn’t like you or like spending time with you, that we wouldn’t be with you.

there you have it friends.... agree? disagree? have some more tips? for men, OR women? share. please. we're all at a loss.

yellow diamonds in the light | and we're standing side by side.

2011-11-15T12:39:00.000-08:00

ok. no denying. rihanna kills this. this video could not be more perfect. and i don't care if you like rihanna, this style of music, drugs, dance hall, djs, or any of the above. this song, video, and heart wreck must resonate with you.
at first, seemingly romantic, and beautiful... and until you listen a few times, you can't understand the love that she wants to relinquish... that's over. the video was shot in ireland - amazing - and i do think that is what helps me connect with it. torn. starkly beautiful. harsh, and open to suck us in.
the whole production was directed by Melina Matsoukas - arguably one of my favourite directors of all time. she directed my favourite lady gaga video - beautiful, dirty, rich - as well as 'shake your money maker' with luda ft. pharrell (omg i love pharrell), and more more more. she's good y'all.
she has, along with rihanna, commented on the obvious resemblance to rihanna's relationship that was so highly publicized. parents aren't happy, tv stations aren't either - but really.... let's face it: the dangers of toxic dependancies (both relationship and chemical) should be highly publicized, and then talked about.
Matsoukas told MTV News. "I think because, in the end, it's not really at all about domestic violence. It's really just about it being toxic, and they're on this drug trip and that definitely plays a part, but I think it's also about being triumphant over those weaknesses, and she leaves him. It's not trying to glorify that type of relationship. The bad parts of it, that's what you don't want. In the end, her leaving, it represents her getting that out of her life. The drugs and the addiction and the toxic -- that's what brings her downfall and brings a lot of harm."
Rhianna's also made comment about the song... that i think also either subconsciously, or intelligently subtly, indicates her feelings on not simply the music, but the tone of the lyrics as well. "It makes you feel so good, like you're lost in electricity or love or whatever it is, you're lost in it," she said about the track. (mtv.com)
i'm not a critic, i'm not a music expert - i'm not even close to anything resembling an art director, and shouldn't be commenting on videos, and how they connect with music. but i will say this - for anyone who has ever had a tumultuous relationship, who understands how easy it is to say, 'just leave', and anyone who realizes that love complicates things just as much as it creates beauty in the every day.... this video is for us.
(plus - she pukes streamers. c'mon people. that's GENIUS)

"it's like you're screaming, and no one can hear. you almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them you feel like nothing. no one will ever understand how much it hurts. you feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. and when it's over and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back, so that you could have the good."

edit: found this video.... not sure how... but this version is STUNNING.

my (uber productive) weekend in summary

2011-11-14T16:57:00.000-08:00

this weekend was one for gettin' shit done. and i did. big time. felt. so. good.

flowers from a friend, who knows i've been having a 'particularly frustrating' month at work; sausage and beer with charm - best. friday. ever; and my sparkle cozy from starbucks... for beer coolness maintenence!; fooseball with denver and friends on saturday; the beauty of a coffee shop in the sun. love.

Friday: After a particularly frustrating day at work, I met up with denver after work, to stop at aboveground art supplies, and pick up some... supplies. we chatted, and i got ready at home to meet charm, and then drove denver home. stopped at urban outfitters, where they were having a sale, and got a SMASHING blazer-ish, for $20. yessss amaze. then met charm, for some sausage and beer. Yes. You heard me right. Sausage. We went to wurst on king street, and enjoyed the giant sausage fest. Had some beer, chatted lots, and laughed a ton, while enjoying the company of the incredibly handsome bartender. As well as old school beats. So much so, that we vowed to make it a regular Friday thing. Food was AWESOME. I then drove charm home, and got home in time to get into bed at midnight. MIDNIGHT. What a glorious weekend bedtime.
Saturday: woke up at noon (yes – you heard/read me. 12 hours of sleep), and packed up in time to meet denver and his friends at the Gladstone while they finished up brunch. Then went to see daniel’s new place, and THEN denver’s cousin eric’s new place. We walked back, and I then spent the afternoon working on various new and exciting projects (more details to come - hint hint, re:claim work in progress, live and in living colour). NOT AWESOME: I was at the bell jar, which I CLEARLY wanted to love as a result of it’s reference to my favourite sylvia plath, and their free internet? Not so free after about 40 minutes. Fan-effin-tastic. So I packed up in a huff, and left. And went to starbucks. I then planned on meeting friends out for drinks and dinner, but I wasn’t feeling 100%, so instead I sat at home, had a nap(ish), and watched Philadelphia, and part of where the wild things are (those both being part of my ‘weekend movie stack’). Then, my landlords invited me up for hockey, cheese, wine, and hangover part 2. Love love love.
Sunday: slept in – again (yessssss!), and then cleaned a bit, and packed up for a day of work. Spent 6 hours in starbucks, working my buns off, and then went home, to bead, organize, clean, talk to my sisters (and play phone tag with my cousin – more than we already have), make Christmas gifts (ahhhhhh!!!!) and catch another mouse with my landlord. Watched zoolander, the rest of where the wild things are, and about a boy. Made lunches for the week, and cleaned the shit out of my apt. organized like a crazy person, and got my inspiration boards up. Felt. So. Good. but then, as usual, got to bed WAY too late. Alas. All in a weekend’s work for me.
Hope everyone had a FANTASTIC weekend. last of the fall (ish) weather!

why. not.

2011-11-14T11:45:00.000-08:00

image from imgfave.com/

my new life motto - why not?

we remember

2011-11-11T06:55:00.000-08:00

image from weheartit.com/

today is a day. a day within the year to explicitly remember what those incredible members of our country and organizations did for us. to remind us that we should remember all year long.
to those, we thank you.

please always remember. please never forget.

i can't imagine loving sports more.

2011-11-10T15:03:00.000-08:00

this needs no introduction, other than strong props to the celtics, and reggie miller's 'choke' moment.

and yes, i cried. because i always do.
enjoy.